We have got to that time of the year. The time of self-reflection, of acknowledging the accomplishments achieved this year and thinking what we have missed too.
It’s been a year of ups and down. Throughout the year I have honestly believed that it was the worst year of my life and that I wouldn’t be able to achieve anything I could feel proud of. I cried many times thinking of love and my future. I have feared so much that I might have developed a panic disorder to all sorts of scenarios and life situations. However and despite all, I am here. I haven’t failed. I have worked hard, I have been inspired and I have surpassed challenges bigger than the limits created by my mind.
In the beginning of next year it makes 5 years of the story I titled “Adventures in Queensland”. So many hopes, so many unknowns and so many dreams composed Tommy of 5 years ago. She was naïve in so many things. She had just turned 18 and she had several pre-conceited ideas stemmed from years of church and accepting other people’s truths. She believed in the power of choice and she was so kind and caring. She was so innocent in that pretty way too. She believed in fairy tales and she believed in that type of love that makes your heart swoon with happiness and chills. The amazon type you see, the type of love full of life and adventures and beauty and dangers and unknown. The type of love you never get to forget because it was just that special.
She wished for growth and skills. She was immensely self-critical and she didn’t think too much of herself. She believe in the power of her mind, but there was complete disbelief in the power of her personality and heart and appearance even in making a difference to someone else.
She aspired for knowledge, so many knowledge that she consumed more books and learned more words in a day that she could count. All she wanted was to make her family proud and to contribute to make the world a better and safer place to one person.
If Tommy from 5 years ago is still around, then I want to send her a message. Darling, you have to be proud of yourself. That compliment that you find hard to hear and accept, oh my love, you deserve it.
That smile that sport on the streets of the small town you live is what keeps you alive.
That kindness is what makes you different. Don’t get involved in anything that doesn’t make you grow or empowers others to do so too. Don’t accept other people’s derogatory comments about you.
Self-criticism is good but don’t hurt yourself. Give yourself a break at times. It is a journey of self-growth and acceptance and if you keep doing what you are doing, you are going to take the world by storm day by day, smile by smile.
I love you, remember that.
This year I don’t get to spend Christmas with my family for the first time. This year I don’t get to spend my birthday with my family for the first time. This year I get to create new memories and develop my own understanding of Christmas and hopefully gain the type of wisdom I can carry for life.
With love,
Tommy
"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul SolnadoWith love,
Tommy
