You are home to me.

This is the first day of the last month of 2013 and God, what a crazy year this was. So much happened. It was a year of firsts for me. After 2012 having been the year of major changes, I thought I wouldn't be experiencing any first experiences for a while. However, truth was that I did. I've grown to learn so much about myself and the world surrounding me and I still can't believe where I am today and where I was in the beginning of the year.
And these last four months have been a roller coaster for me. These months have been the peak, the highest moments of my entire life. I've felt myself fall in love. Not for the first time but for the first requited time. I've felt myself losing control of myself and my life and actually finding myself enjoying it. I've felt myself feeling just as much as good inside as outside and capable to do what would have been unimaginable things in the past. I've felt terrified and fragile but still not coming back to my safe place because I knew I had to go through this. I've felt sad, a melancholic kind of sad, the lonely kind of sad, the scared kind of sad, the nostalgic kind of sad, the anxious kind of sad. So many different kinds of sad that I quite couldn't keep track of all of them.
I've felt myself dreaming for the 1000th time and realising that reality not only matched my dreams but at some aspects, it was better for once.
I've felt the happiest and the strongest I have ever felt in my entire life. I've felt so much and I've hoped so much and I've experienced so much that not even drawing you, you could have pictured me.
And you may be wondering, what about now? well now, I know better what I want and what I am meant to do. Now I know better what kind of people I want around me and what I am looking forward to see in them.
All my life I accepted only what I thought I deserved. The problem was that I never seen myself deserving much. However now I know that I deserve better. Now I know that I can get more than what is available.
I want to be somebody's first choice. I want someone to like me for who I am and I want to feel free to be that person and not having to retreat to my sarcastic alter ego around them as a shield to protect me. I want to feel nervous and anxious because I want to please them not intimidated to express my inner silly self. I want someone who will appreciate my company and request it not only when they have nothing better to do but because they miss me and my presence would brighten in so many different ways and colours their day. I want to feel freaking special because I know I am and I know that I deserve to feel that way.
And at last, even though it may sound silly, I want to feel protected and loved like only home can allow. I want him to feel home with me as I hope to feel home with him. Each other's haven of the crazy world we live today.
So, for you single ladies and single men out there in the world feeling lost. Understand firstly that we are not lost. We're all wandering, in the happy expectation to find someone to call home.

Love always.
Tommy

PS. Of course I can't let the birthday of one of my favourite people in the world pass by! I love you Nini. I've loved you in the past when we were inexperienced kiddos. I love you today when we are no longer teenagers trying to figure out their place in the world. And I will always love you for the amazing example and beautiful heart that you have.

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado