I was watching It's always Sunny in Philadelphia, an american sitcom, and the episode I was watching is about racism. The thing about racism is that regardless your skin tone, you probably will suffer or have suffered racism. Racism is a violent and very living reality between us. Unfortunately, we still live in a society that promotes inequality. Less represented races in any culture are still undervalued in comparison to the most representative "superior races".
My personal experience with racism is long and it happened in diverse forms. It taught me something that I would like to share with you told.
I suffered racism in diverse forms. People from other races have called me, labelled me or treated me as dumb, stupid, poor and aggressive for being black. They also have taken every opportunity to spread rumours about me so that they could see me down and aware of my insignificance as a person.
I have also suffered racism from people from my own race who thought that I was "too black". It's funny even to think about it. Sometimes I look myself in the mirror or I check a photo I just taken or someone just taken with me and I remember what those people said to me about me. I had realised before they pointed out but only after that that it became an issue to me. Bigger than I could have imagined and impossible to solve. Being the skin tone I am, according to them, made of me an unworthy and ugly girl. I remembered they once made a list from all the girls from my class, from the most attractive, according to their good and perceptive judgement, to the less and probably "undateble". No, I wasn't considered the ugliest but I was placed in the bottom 3 in a class of over 30 students, mostly girls. You cannot imagine the damage this made to the self esteem of the young 12-year-old me. I know, I wasn't even thinking about dating guys back then. I literally had a new crush every two weeks, mostly fictional characters, but no guy really interested me in an emotional level back then. When I turned 13 I fell in love for the first time. I am not sure if it was love when I tried to remember how it felt, it felt so dominating and confusing and unbeatable. Today I have felt more and more intense but the first is always special they say. But well, that's a different story. Let's not go into that.
Finally I have also suffered from subtle, yet, not less intrusive nor damaging form of racism that included guys flirting with me for a significant amount of time, continuously trying to get lucky and never getting on a commitment with me because a black girl like me could not be girlfriend material.
Part of me throughout the years always hated the way I looked in the mirror, in pictures, even in other people's eyes but another part of me always thought it wasn't fault because it wasn't my choice so how could I blame myself for something I had no control over? If I could have chosen, I would have born as Emma Watson or Emma Stone or Anne Hathaway or Emilia Clarke but I couldn't. I was born myself. A different self from anyone else. A unique self. The unlikely combination of a sperm with an egg.
Anyway folks, that is to say that I am well known in the terms and forms of racism but what I didn't know till not so long ago was that racism is nothing but an expression of fear.
Anyone who bullies you or who acts racist against you is afraid of you. People are afraid of the unknown. Those who are different, are not explained in the books. There is very little accurate information about these beings and a shameful amount of tales shared by older generations that were never truly verified thereafter the human instinct is to eliminate or apply control measures.
So, for anyone out there, white, black, brown, yellow or whatever colour people wish to attribute to you as member of a race -which again is an incorrect and very racist practice - who is currently struggling to accept themselves or wishing they could change unchangeable features they were born with, I have a message: It's not you, it's not them, it's fear.
You are not the problem. You're an obstacle because you represent a different reality. Their instinct tells them you are not the same.
I am calling it instinct but of course racism is not a natural activity, it's learned in society. I am calling it instinct because it has been so intrinsically buried within faimilies that became the default practice against what is different.
This not an excuse for people's behaviour, of course. Despite of the environment people are up brought into, we all have freedom of choice and understanding of what is good and what is bad.
Don't let them make you believe that your reality is fake and wrong, because it is not. You are real and so are your values. Be proud of your origins. Be proud of your values.
The colour of your skin does not define you as a person. You can be whoever you want and make it anywhere if you put your mind into that.
Don't wish you looked better and had more, if you think that would make you happier, fight for it. Exercise and lose weight. Take better care of your skin. Watch what you eat. Commit to your task and achieve your goals. The only person between you and your dreams is the idea they planted in your head that you are not worthy of anything. Change your mind set and believe. Believe as much as you can for as long as you can. Believe till people think you are insane. Believe with your eyes closed but don't refuse to open them up and see what is surrounding you. You are full of hope and filled with passion inside of you. Your potential is enormous. You are an inspiration to people like me. You are indeed beautiful and you are, ABOVE ALL, Unique.
Love yourself first, always,
Tommy
"We may encounter defeats but we must not be defeated"
RIP Maya Angelou, you were and are an inspirational woman! A poet, an activist, an original human like no other!
"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado
