Tinder stories

Okay, you read the title and you are judging me already?

If we are to have an honest conversation here you need to stop judging me…can you do that?

Okay, now we can get on with it.

So I have been hearing from all sources of our mother web for years about tinder. Tinder is an app in which people upload their pictures, sometimes connect it to facebook, and then you, based on your defined sexuality, are able to swipe right for a person you want to chat with or swipe left for someone that does not make your type, all of them being geographically close to you so you have the option of ever meeting, if you want-

Now that we established tinder, here’s my opinion. Tinder is just another dating site and as with dating sites as many others made for hook-ups and unrealistic romantic folks.

Tinder is not my first experience on a dating site/app. I’ve been trying them for years in fact. In the beginning perhaps I had the goal of finding someone different who I wouldn’t meet necessarily within my circle of friends and acquaintances. I have even actually met one guy from a dating app (not tinder) and we did date, for a while.

However as years passed by, I became understanding that the likelihood of you finding a meaningful relationship from a dating app is near to almost impossible. The people there most of the time are real but they are shield by the power of the internet that enables them to say whatever you want to hear. It’s that simple…

Not to put any blame on guys here and it is not because girls are stupid either. What girls on tinder do (and not only) is willingly blindfold themselves so guys have little work to do when it comes to fooling them for ulterior motives.

Here is what us sisters and girls of this world need to understand before getting on a app as tinder.

1^st thing: 100% of the guys who approach you want sex. Let’s make it clear here. Did you digest that? Okay, I’ll say it again. They want to sleep with you and they saw a change to make it happen and that is why they approached you. The sooner you get into terms with this, the sooner we can get on with the best part of it.

2^nd thing: Not all guys are players though. Some guys though they are sexually attracted to you and definitely want to sleep with you, they are so genuinely interested in you. Are you surprised? It’s true. You are interesting human being with tons to offer so trust me , for me, it’s no surprise they want to know more about your life.

3^rd thing: You will chat with more guys who solely want to get in your pants than guys who want to have a real conversation with you.

4^th thing: there is also a quarter of this population of guys which will include men with double of your age, disgusting men who will forward a bunch of pictures of themselves, creepy creepy guys who will get overly attached to you when you reply to them once or twice, guys who will get verbally aggressive to you, guys who will say the most disgusting things to you, etc. etc.

5^th thing :1% if not less of all the guys who will approach is probably boyfriend material and even perhaps husband material. That is the good news. Have you not ever watched a video of a couple who met on tinder or match.com? It’s real. Many of them are still together!0

The problem for me with that 1% is how unlikely is it to happen. It is worth it? Sure! Yet so rare. While some people are fine to go through the trouble of meeting a bunch of no guys to find their yes guy, I am an impatient person and hate to feel that I missing out on life because of a virtual thing.

So the reason I use tinder isn’t to date. In fact, At this moment I have around 30 messages over there from different people that I have never replied. Tinder as the most recent and chaotic and known dating tool has become my new research tool. I am using tinder as the platform to get the answers for several of my questions of what guys will or will not put up with in a in a girl.

Check the next chapter to figure out the top things I have learned about the opposite sex so far.

Love always,

Tommy

 

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Brand new chapter!

So guys, you literally have no idea for how long I have been trying to get my thoughts down here. However for some reason the timing to do it seems never right: laptop is broken, phone is broken, no broadband in the house, etc…

Don’t worry, I hear it as you do, as the very strongly thought excuse it is. But bear with me.  this is only the tip of the iceberg of the challenge of ever stop writing.

Writing is a beautiful art. It is not for all, I never even thought it was for me. It is just something that you need to grow into, a learned behaviour, that has to progress into love for you to continue it.

Thus stop writing which can be translated as the unlearning of all these skills that take years to master can become a REAL struggle.  The reason is simple… you no longer divide your time counting on writing. Writing no longer is part of your routine and thereafter it needs to be planned in advance for you to ever get back on it. And when it comes to fulfilling long-term goals…folks, can we just be honest and say that we are still trying to achieve our 2012’s goals? (can I get an Amen?)

Psychologically speaking, we are wired to divide our attentional resources based on our immediate needs and planning goes way beyond all of that. It requires a type of commitment that we are not all ready to make.

Yet, I am massive planner. I have a diary who would surprise an OCD person. I am the master of planning all things in this planet so this excuse does not stick with me.

The struggle of ever stopping also passes through the fact that you need to revisit the reasons of you were writing in the first place. I have always seen writing as an outlet for all these weird, bottled emotions that my teenage self couldn’t quite name.  Don’t get me wrong, I was a great teenager. My biggest sin was telling a white lie every now and then because I wanted my life to sound better than it was.

However, the older I got, the more ridiculous it felt to write about the same emotions because I learned how to introspect and deal with these feelings from the within. The problem is that now writing has lost its purpose to me and I can no longer find a reason to do it. I am no longer the same person nor is the object of my writing. What to write about now?

I could try poetry and I love reading poetry but I can’t write poetry. It requires this simplicity in understand living things and the inherent beauty in the world that I don’t possess. I am quite a complex person and can only translate what I feel in complex thoughts.

I gave it a try to writing short-stories in the past – I loved it too but I am no longer my 16 year self with a crush on a guy who won’t like her back and I don’t think I have managed to read enough books to commit to doing such a type of challenge.

However writing is essential to me, it became part of me over the years. It’s how I managed to reason my own actions and to find my own needs as a human person. I cannot abandon it.

So pondering on all this, I have got to the conclusion that what I want this blog to be about is myself. Sounds stupid to you, doesn’t it? But bear with me. Here’s the logic: I have never been able to write anything that hasn’t in a way been related to me. So, for a fact, all I have ever been doing is writing about me.

While this life of mine is not so interesting that deserves a self-entitled book, certainly has funny badass moments that will definitely make your days feel infinitely better! Being able to laugh at own silliness has made so more resilient to life and I am here willing to share my wisdom with you all.

Welcome to the series of the life of a muggle by own your truly. You ready for the first chapter?

With love,

Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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