Hello people! :)
I haven't written here in a really long time so I apologise if you're follower and thanks for sticking around during my absence. A lot has happend in my life lately and I've been struggling quite bit over how to put all info that is relevant concelead in an appropriate sized post. Anywho, I'll try and do my best, underlining straightforwardly that it is still very likely for this post to be a bit longer than the usual. That is to say that so if you don't have the time, patience or even the weirdness to read it, and just accidentally have reached my page by mistake, please hit the back button on your browser to escape now.
For those who care this is what happend in a nutshell.
For starters, if you guys remember on my latest posts, I was on a day-and-night search for the perfect job for this summer. I had so many goals and really wanted this Summer to be different in a legendary kind of way. So my search was over when I found a fundraiser vacancy on a fundraising company - Real Fundraising. I was initially thrilled. Everyone who knows me knows that I've always been very passionate about helping others, I usually find it very rewarding (honestly speaking) so I decided to apply for this position by forwarding my cv to their recruitment email. After a couple days, they rang me, told me everything I need to know about the company and their goals, and asked me if I was interested in having a skype interview with them. Of course I accepted it right away and on the day of the interview while I was still getting ready for my last exam, I created this two-pages file with all the information I imagined they would ask me and it turned out to be a really good idea doing it because they were very impressed with me and rang me on the following day to say that they would like to offer me a position in the company and go on training for a couple days on that same week.
So, everything was looking even better than my expectations until my first training day. Everything changed. I realised as much as excited as I was, there were so many better people for this position than me. The group I was clustered in for my training...to begin with, they were all british, which is always an advantage, and easy public speakers and somehow BETTER in every possible way. Thus, I felt as my dreams have been crushed for the same issue that I had struggled my entire life: address to a group of people in a not-so-awkward-trembling-way. However as much as afraid I felt, I didn't give up. I talked to my mother on the phone that same day and told her how bad I was feeling. My lovely mommy, as always, cheered me up, saying I had loads of potential and I only had to believe in myself the same way she believed in me (I love my mommy so much) and that's what I tried to do on my second training day. I spent the entire previous night practicing in front of the mirror to be as enchanting and ready as the others and the day was amazing. I've worked with a different and very cool group of people with whom I was going to work everyday from that day on and learned a lot. My team leader - super hot guy who unfortunately had a girlfriend - was amazing. He advised me to forget everything I have learned on the previous day and just chat with people, normally, have a laugh with them and try to inspire them about a really good cause that we were trying to fundraise - Breast Cancer Campaign. The best advice he gave me was something as 'People don't know what you're supposed to say. So, there's no way you can do it wrong. Just don't be afraid, put a smile on your face and be as passioante and excited as possible'. And it really calmed me down. I went on the field, had a good laugh with people and was able to acquire my first sign up by inspiring this lovely woman :) Thus, after such a good day with really fun people, my excitement was all back and my worries not controlling me anymore. I was really proud of myself (and so was my mother ) and went back home to practice more in front of the mirror to be as good as I wanted to be. Of course that from that day on, some good things happened - 5 more sign ups - and some not so good things happened - people shouting at my face and slamming the door. My relationship with my workmates also improved. We went bollowing on a night after work and it was really good laugh - the type I didn't have in a really long time.
And there was this guy. I mean there's always a guy. This time was different.
Well, I have been emotionally well lately. I'm finally not in love with some guy, even though I still love some people. There is a big difference, you know. Being in love is all that crap you know - the excitement, heart beating fast, sweaty palms - and loving somone is a more mature thing - a strong feeling but that doesn't control your actions but is still there in a deeper and conscient level.
So I'm happy for not being in love with someone any longer because I'm usually really silly when I'm in love. I do very stupid things that I end up cursing myself over so it is good to have a break from all the teenager-crazy-hormones-and-multiple-crushes crap. I feel more as an adult and ready to start over.
Starting over is really fun because it involves meeting someone new and flirting and getting to know them in a deeper level. And that's what happend to me and this workbuddy of mine. I didn't like him at first sight or even at second or third sight. I mean, we are completely different people. We don't have anything in common. He loves rap music - I hate rap music. He loves tatoos - I hate tatoos. He is blonde and blue-eyed - I'm into brunnettes. The only good thing about him was that he was in the army and plans to go back there - and I absolutely love the army (of course hahaha). But well, this is to say that we don't have much in common. However he has a really cool personality, filled with glee. He seems to be a very happy person, which is strange nowadays when we spend hours complaining about everything and everyone and hating every single bit of our lives. He has this crazy aura which is just fascinating and admirable. So, yeah, we were just flirting with each other and things were looking good. We went out this time after work. It wasn't a proper date because he was like 'Do you wanna grab something to eat before going home? I know this really cool place'. So, it was more as buddies having dinner than a date but it was really good time spent. Had a good laugh and then went home (of course more happened but obviously I can't tell everything). The important is that he seemed to have enjoyed as much as enjoyed his and I sort of learned not to hate rap music anymore - is not as bad as I pictured it.
So, yeah we were just seeing, working and flirting with each other almost every single day and it was an extra exciting thing to hope for while going to work every morning. Until....I was dismissed - back a few days ago. They said I didn't achieved the target sign ups for the charity so they had to let me go. I did better than I initially thought I would and I also did better than some people there, so I'm proud of myself and my work there. Of course I'm sad to be dismissed. I liked the job. I liked the people I worked with and it was good pay. However life goes on and even though my work for a legendary summer was reset back to point zero, I'm not losing hope. I'm already looking for a new job and hopefully I will find one very soon and be able to tick some boxes of my new year's resolution list.
I'm not going to give in. This summer will be a great summe because I deserved one. I've been working my ass so hard for everything. There's so much pressure, paying bills, getting a job, submit my assignments on time, exams and presentations that I deserve one good damn summer and I will have it.
SO yeah, that's it bloggers. Thanks for sticking around once again and enjoy a good weekend with your best pals,
Year of Tommy back on track :D
Love always,
Tommy
"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado
