Finding out who is really there for ME!

As we grow, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.

Remember, life is kind of like a party.  You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really late.  But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up the mess.  And most of the time, they aren’t even the ones who made the mess.  These people are your real friends in life.  They are the ones who matter most.

"Here are 15 things real friends do differently:

1. They face problems together. – A person who truly knows and loves you – a real friend – is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else still believes the smile on your face.  Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems; look for someone who will face them with you.
2. They give what they can because they truly care. – One of the biggest challenges in relationships comes from the fact that many of us enter a relationship in order to get something.  We try to find someone who’s going to make us feel good.  In reality, the only way a relationship will last, and give us joy in the long-term, is if we see our relationship as a place we go to give, and not just a place we go to take.  Yes, of course it is okay to take something from a relationship too.  But both sides should be giving.  It can only be a ‘give and take’ if BOTH SIDES are GIVING.  That’s the key.
3. They make time for each other. – It’s obvious, but any relationship without any face time is going to have problems.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in someone’s life.  Never force someone to make a space in their life for you, because if they truly care about you, they will create one for you.  
4. They offer each other freedom. – A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows wide open.  Plenty of air is circulating and no one feels trapped.  Relationships thrive in this environment.  Keep your doors and windows open.  If this person is meant to be in your life, all the open doors and windows in the world won’t make them leave.
5. They communicate effectively. – It’s been said many times before, but it’s true: great communication is the cornerstone of a great relationship.  If you have resentment, you must talk it out rather than let the resentment grow.  If you are jealous, you must communicate in an open and honest manner to address your insecurities.  If you have expectations of your partner, you must communicate them.  If there are any problems whatsoever, you must communicate them and work them out.  And communicate more than just problems – communicate the good things too.
6. They accept each other as is. – Trying to change a person never works. People know when they are not accepted in their entirety, and it hurts.  A real friend is someone who truly knows you, and loves you just the same.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.  If you feel like changing something about your friend, ask yourself what change you can make in yourself instead.
7. They are genuine, and expect genuineness. – As Leo F. Buscaglia once said, “Never idealize others.  They will never live up to your expectations.  Don’t over-analyze your relationships.  Stop playing games.  A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.”  Don’t play gameswith people’s heads and hearts.  Remember, love and friendship don’t hurt.  Lying, cheating and screwing with people’s feelings and emotions hurts.  Always be open, honest, and genuine. 
8. They compromise. – Real friends meet in the middle.  When there’s a disagreement, they work out a solution that works for both parties – a compromise, rather than a need for the other person to change or completely give in.
9. They support each other’s growth changes. – Our needs change with time.  When someone says, “You’ve changed,” it’s not always a bad thing.  Sometimes it just means you grown.  Don’t apologize for it.  Instead, be open and sincere, explain how you feel, and keep doing what you know in your heart is right.
10. They believe in each other. – Simply believing in another person, and showing it in your words and deeds, can make a huge difference in their life.  Studies of people who grew up in dysfunctional homes but who grew up to be happy and successful show that the one thing they had in common was someone who believed in them.  Do this for those you care about.  Support their dreams and passions and hobbies.  Participate with them.  Cheer for them.  Be nothing but encouraging.  Whether they actually accomplish these dreams or not, your belief is of infinite importance to them.
11. They maintain realistic expectations of their relationship. – No one is happy all the time.  Friends must keep realistic expectations of each other.  Notice when you’re projecting something onto the other person that has nothing to do with them, like a fear from a past relationship, and then make an effort to let it go.  Recognize when you’re looking for that person to do something for you that you need to do for yourself, like making you feel lovable or take care of your needs, and then release those expectations and do it for yourself.
12. They honor each other in small ways on a regular basis. – Honor your important relationships in some way every chance you get.  Every day you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by making small gestures to show your appreciation and affection.  Remember, making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  Your kindness and gratitude matters.  Make an effort to really listen – not just wait to talk.  See the other person as if for the first time.  It’s all too easy to take someone for granted.  Really notice all the wonderful things they do, and let them know what you see.
13. They listen, and they hear every word. – Giving a person a voice, and showing them that their words matter, will have a long-lasting impact on them.  Less advice is often the best advice.  People don’t need lots of advice, they need a listening ear and some positive reinforcement.  What they want to know is often already somewhere inside of them.  They just need time to think, be and breathe, and continue to explore the undirected journeys that will eventually help them find their direction.
14. They keep their promises. – Your word means everything.  If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT!  If you say you’re going to be somewhere, BE THERE!  If you say you feel something, MEAN IT!  If you can’t, won’t, and don’t, then DON’T LIE.  Real friends keep promises and tell the truth upfront. 
15. They stick around. – The sad truth is that there are some people who will only be there for you as long as you have something they need.  When you no longer serve a purpose to them, they will leave.  The good news is, if you tough it out, you’ll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great people you can count on.  We rarely lose friends and lovers, we just gradually figure out who our real ones are."

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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The first

There's anything more annoyin' than a duck face? How mad are you now?

Hello! How are you guys going? Did you guys have a nice day? Hope so. 

Well, mine started very well and have lost gradually bright and intensity, but that's not the point I pretend to approach. Today I wanted to share with you something very special about my past. This afternoon, a very old and sweet memory came up to my mind. Well, going straightforward to the point, my first crush. I'm not going to say names, that would be completely inappropriate even though you guys would never know who I am talking about, not even him and I also don't intend to be lame, these are just good happy memories.

It happened during my middle school years when I met this truly smokin' hot man. He had this very attractive nerd-handsome look and was very bright and athletic, which can be translated to "great mind, hot body". For me he was what any girl could call "a dream guy". However, strangely I seemed to be the only one noticing. I don't have a very common taste in guys, I guess :p

I used to make the impossible to spend the most time possible with him and I actually did. We spent so much time and I must say, quality time together that we eventually became friends. He started talking me about his life, his family, his life goals, his interests and so much more and all that made me feel the most special girl in the in the entire world. In that school I strongly believe I was, though. I used to dream and imagine he'd wait for me to be eighteen and then we'd live our love with no restrictions. Of course I was wrong, of there was no 'us', of course he didn't love me and of course I didn't love him back. However, all this fancy, somewhat creepy teenager girl first crush, made wake up for a brand new world of feelings. A place where this type of feelings make people do and believe strange and sometimes dumb things. 

Today I remember with so much happy nostalgia because it was so much fun, different and above all uncomplicated. And that's what I was hoping for a life with feelings be like, uncomplicated and simply happy. I miss that. I miss that simplicity, that courage, that naive happiness. 

Even that time, I knew I didn't love him, deep inside I knew it. I wanted and I tried very hard but I have come to understand that one does not love someone without being loved by that person. Love must be returned to be completely felt. We can have strong feelings or liking very much someone, but love is way bigger than that, way bigger than our understanding. That's why I believe I never loved someone, I had very strongly feelings for some very special people. Yes, I look forward for love. Yes, I look forward for loving and being loved as I deserved, but I will always have a place for what it is the first, our special one. 
Do you guys also carry this type of memories of your first? Let me know.

Having said that, below are some pics I've taken today with my web cam (very poor quality sorry).

I bought this dress and sweater jeans in Mango during sale. Aren't they awesome?

See ya later,

x

Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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just sayin'

Sharing everything, I mean, every single thing, event, crap interesting or not, that happens throughout your day on facebook, is not cool, dude. NOT COOL AT ALL. Just sayin'
Hereupon (= Having said that), Hello bloggers!  I'm finally enjoying a sunny day here in England... from my room, but still enjoyin'. All right, I know, it's needless to say, I should take this very rare opportunity to go out and shop or jog or do any outside-home activity. However, my inherited laziness doesn't aloud me to. It's a very bad excuse, I know, but I'm gonna stick with this one. sorry folks :p
Well,  maybe later I could, at least, try ... I gotta get out of this bed today. The more time I spend here, the more weird things get. sometimes even beyond weird. Picture this, someone stuck in his bed for over 48 hours. It's serious beef!
Anyway, gotta back to my TV programs and studies ;) You guys have fun today. 

stay cool and chill out, fellas!
x
Tommy

PS. I'm kind of practising and learning British/American slang, so just be cool and don't tease me :p

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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quick post!

Just to say Hi and check how you guys are going. I miss 'the old' MK activity. The one that I used to update once or twice a week. I can only blame my giant boredom and laziness. Anyway, I'm gonna try to update more often. However, I must say that I won't have the same energy or will to spread goodness throughout the blogsphere...
I look forward for the beginning of university times. Having something interesting to do. I'm almost there. Yesterday, I received an email from Huddersfield with a conditional offer. Which means that first, I need to meet all the requirements they ask me to and then I'll have a place over there. The only thing missing now is the IELTS. It's a lot of pressure for just one thing. All depends on it, one simple exam. Let's hope for the best!
Anyway, see you guys later!
Love,
Tommy

I guess I'm down to my last cry


"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Life's a cabaret old chum. So come to the cabaret!

Hello bloggers! I know it's been a while since I posted and I'd like to apologise for it. Many events have occurred in my life since then. I've been more tired than I could ever express.
To begin with, I've started to work in a warehouse called Daniels a few miles from my house, 1 hour by public transports. I've learned a lot there and had the chance to improve notoriously my spoken English. The most interesting about this job is the diversity. The majority of folks over there were not British, so I've learnt a little bit of each country culture. Countries such as Lithuania, Hungary, Russia, Poland, Zimbabwe, France, India, Timor, Indonesia, etc.. People came from around the globe looking for the same thing. A better education, better job opportunities, a better life. It was a superb experience, must say. Unfortunately a week ago I've received text about my shift being cancelled for reasons that I don't understand perfectly so I'm no longer working there or anywhere. Of course that job wasn't my cup of tea and for sure not perfect. I had the night shift, so it was very hard for me to find a good time to contact with my parents, siblings and friends. It was also a very tough job, involved several hard working hours. I was always tired and overstressed. No lie, bloggers. People used to quit this job daily.
Anyway, now I'm back to my old boring silly life with the difference of me being more committed than I was. These past months have changed me, I'm no longer the same. I still find joy and reasons to smile and spread happiness, however, I've lost my naiveness. With regard to expectation, I look at people with no expectation. I don't trust them, I don't put my faith in them. People have disappointed me. I've disappointed myself more times than I can count. I have cried, I have claim to God, I've been sick, I've been physical and emotionally exhausted, I've been straight edge and I almost fell. But foremost, I've learnt to live and survive and I'm stronger now. 
To finish, I'd like to ask your help with something. I'm a very proud sister. My older sister is participating in a runway contest. She has been trying to work in the fashion world for many years and finally she's got the opportunity she deserves. However, we need your help to make sure she wins. It is very simple. You just need to like this page below and share with your friends and tell them to do the same. We would appreciate a lot your help. It's her dream. It has always been and nothing would make me happier than seeing her dreams come true.
Many thanks folks,
Tommy

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kika-Galhardo-para-Miss-Africa-Ocidental-Portugal-2012/463557366988987

For more info about this contest: http://www.tchiloli.blogspot.co.uk/

Life's a caberet old chum. So come to the cabaret!



PS. Over 10200 views! Thank you all!

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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HOME, HOME, HOME

Trust me, people who tell you to chase your dreams, fight for them and live for them have never tried this sort of thing. If they did, they'd know how much it cost failing at what you love so they'd never give you this advice. It's an unbearable pain to carry on. You feel useless, powerless, ashamed and lonely. I wasn't sure about what I was looking for when I chose to pursue this path. I had so many dreams, more than I could count. I wanted everything so much...
I just want to believe that the sun will rise and shine tomorrow and the day after that, and the day after that. I just want to put my head over a pillow and sleep. This night I have barely slept half an hour because I was afraid of something I don't know what is. I just need somebody to deliver part of this pain cause this is too much for me to hold. I'm giving in to despair, I can feel myself falling down. I don't want to feel this way any more. This wasn't supposed to hurt. This wasn't supposed to keep myself down. I look around me and I see blanc. I feel lonely. Abandoned to the wolfs and darkness. This failure serial is dragging me around in circles and I guess I am too tired now to fight against it. The flame of hope and glow that kept me alive all this long, is now extinguished. All effort, fight and hope was delusional and I knew it from the very beginning. I am clueless about what to expect from myself from now on. Can somebody tell me where home is? I just want to go home...

They say that home is where the heart is. I guess i haven't found my home. And we keep driving round in circles, Afraid to call this place our own.

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Long time, no see!

Heey bloggers! What's up?

Long time, no see, I know. I've been quite busy with no time to post.

This week has been insane and I'm dying for a proper sleep time.

As I told you, I went to London to do the Ielts exam. In my humble opinion, I have no expectations about the possible result. It wasn't as good as I wanted or as bad as I expected. I know I could have done so much better and this really frustrates me. I know what I'm capable of, nevertheless I always keep myself from doing my very best. To be honest, I'm afraid of not having at least the minimum I need to complete my application. Lately everything has been so messed up and my life upside down, that I'm not sure I can handle another fail. Anyway, results come out on 6th or 7th June, so we'll see then.

Apart from this, My short trip to London was truly delightful. I fell in love for the city... so full of life, rhythm and movement. Due to the time I spend by myself not appreciating it that much any more, feeling part of something way bigger than me and getting vibes from the croud, it's not only pleasant but undoubtedly outshine. My dream trip was in 'romantic' cities, like Paris and Venice. However, once I arrived in London and spent I little time there, I fell in love with the place.
I was most excited to experience the little differences. The food was very different from what I normally eat in Leeds. I enjoyed the desserts that were more traditional such as frangipane, with its buttery outer crust. But I also developed a taste for biscuits, similiar to cookies, but usually crisp and not especially sweet.
I loved the curved streets I saw in some of the London neighborhoods. Also, the parks in London are definitely must-sees. I especially liked Hyde Park, and Green Park, which is one of the parks by Buckingham Palace. Seeing the beautiful architecture of the Natural History Museum, with its relief sculptures and statues, was one of the highlights of my trip. It was also nice to see the Victoria and Albert Museum. It is a beautiful old building. Piccadilly Circus is also a fun place to go, with many people walking around and many places to shop and eat. When it is lit up at night is the coolest time to go! There is also nice architecture there and you can see the statue of Eros.Unfortunately, I have no photos of these places with me yet.

From the beautiful and charming architecture to the natural adoption of new cultures, London is by far the most amazing city I've ever visited. I certainly look forward to come back and my apologies for not being able of dignify the superb city London is, as it deserves...

Moving on... I can't explain how tired I am. All this fatigue come from my first working week and some not so pleasant situation I've been through this week. To begin with, I've started working at a Warehouse Tuesday night from 8.30pm to 7.30am. It's my first real job and I'm trying to keep it for at least 7 weeks. My assignments are easy, I just have to peal, drop or pack fruits. However, most fruits are too big for my little tiny hands what turns my job not so easy and incredibly tiring. Different from it looks at first sight, It's a tough job and people drop it daily. Additionally, during our shift we just have two breaks of about half an hour. The first couple days were the worst, now I'm feeling much better. There are a few parts of my body still aching once in a while but nothing that pure rest can't handle.

Foremost, my family is passing for not so good times. This week wasn't one of our best. My mother was hospitalised for a couple of days, I didn't know until last night when she told me. And even she guaranteeing me she's alright, these brings me bad memories and I can't help staying scare of death. No one in my family ever tells me anything. They think they're keeping me for suffering, but that ain't no true. In addiction, we all in mourning. My cousin 5months-year baby passed away. Plus, she had set for the wedding in two weeks. Now, obviously there's no mood for celebration. I had no opportunity to meet the baby since I'm here in England, but I wish I could help somehow her. I can't imagine the pain of loosing our first child... I feel very sorry and sad for her.

Meanwhile, Monday, the day before start working for real, for the 97346'099876 time, I've lost my wallet with my documents, debit cards, school cards, money and others stuffs in it. I know this happens me all the time and I don't know what can I do to avoid it. I'm always dreaming about something and my head hardly get focused on something for too long. It's tremendously hard for me to pay attention to my belongings or anything in general when I'm in my dreamy mood. I've been trying for a while and now even more to stop dreaming during day's light and do like any other ordinary person, facing reality, but it's tough for me 'cause that's all I've done my entire life. Loosing my wallet this time wasn't like the others. This time I had no one to call to, actually my two mobiles were dead - forgot to charge them - no money to come back home, starving and thirsting and incredibly tiring because I had just return from my almost 4hours trip. I never went through this kind of desperation and feeling of pure loneliness...

As visible, these days have been hard for me and all I want is a little rest, peace and safety. Luckily it's weekend and I've got weekends off work. So I'll be able to do and have a little of that.
To finish, I just want to highlight one of my best friends birthday. She's very special to me and this is year, lamentably I'm not able to spend her birthday with her. So, here it comes, Happy Birthday pequenoi, I love very much and miss you a lot. Thank you for being my shelter not only these last times but always ♥
Must go now. I really miss you guys (or the idea of people reading the silly things I write) and I promise to make you guys up for my continued absence along May. Below are some pics I've taken in London. Take care and may the force be with you!

x

Tommy

P.S In the UK, this weekend mark the queen's diamond jubilee, which means that we're celebrating her 60 years reign. All streets are decorated with UK flags and cultural stuff. It's quite interesting, must say! 

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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