Thursday, June 28, 2012

The first

There's anything more annoyin' than a duck face? How mad are you now?

Hello! How are you guys going? Did you guys have a nice day? Hope so.

Well, mine started very well and have lost gradually bright and intensity, but that's not the point I pretend to approach. Today I wanted to share with you something very special about my past. This afternoon, a very old and sweet memory came up to my mind. Well, going straightforward to the point, my first crush. I'm not going to say names, that would be completely inappropriate even though you guys would never know who I am talking about, not even him and I also don't intend to be lame, these are just good happy memories.

It happened during my middle school years when I met this truly smokin' hot man. He had this very attractive nerd-handsome look and was very bright and athletic, which can be translated to "great mind, hot body". For me he was what any girl could call "a dream guy". However, strangely I seemed to be the only one noticing. I don't have a very common taste in guys, I guess :p

I used to make the impossible to spend the most time possible with him and I actually did. We spent so much time and I must say, quality time together that we eventually became friends. He started talking me about his life, his family, his life goals, his interests and so much more and all that made me feel the most special girl in the in the entire world. In that school I strongly believe I was, though. I used to dream and imagine he'd wait for me to be eighteen and then we'd live our love with no restrictions. Of course I was wrong, of there was no 'us', of course he didn't love me and of course I didn't love him back. However, all this fancy, somewhat creepy teenager girl first crush, made wake up for a brand new world of feelings. A place where this type of feelings make people do and believe strange and sometimes dumb things.

Today I remember with so much happy nostalgia because it was so much fun, different and above all uncomplicated. And that's what I was hoping for a life with feelings be like, uncomplicated and simply happy. I miss that. I miss that simplicity, that courage, that naive happiness.

Even that time, I knew I didn't love him, deep inside I knew it. I wanted and I tried very hard but I have come to understand that one does not love someone without being loved by that person. Love must be returned to be completely felt. We can have strong feelings or liking very much someone, but love is way bigger than that, way bigger than our understanding. That's why I believe I never loved someone, I had very strongly feelings for some very special people. Yes, I look forward for love. Yes, I look forward for loving and being loved as I deserved, but I will always have a place for what it is the first, our special one.
Do you guys also carry this type of memories of your first? Let me know.

Having said that, below are some pics I've taken today with my web cam (very poor quality sorry).

I bought this dress and sweater jeans in Mango during sale. Aren't they awesome?