Monday, June 11, 2012

HOME, HOME, HOME

Trust me, people who tell you to chase your dreams, fight for them and live for them have never tried this sort of thing. If they did, they'd know how much it cost failing at what you love so they'd never give you this advice. It's an unbearable pain to carry on. You feel useless, powerless, ashamed and lonely. I wasn't sure about what I was looking for when I chose to pursue this path. I had so many dreams, more than I could count. I wanted everything so much...
I just want to believe that the sun will rise and shine tomorrow and the day after that, and the day after that. I just want to put my head over a pillow and sleep. This night I have barely slept half an hour because I was afraid of something I don't know what is. I just need somebody to deliver part of this pain cause this is too much for me to hold. I'm giving in to despair, I can feel myself falling down. I don't want to feel this way any more. This wasn't supposed to hurt. This wasn't supposed to keep myself down. I look around me and I see blanc. I feel lonely. Abandoned to the wolfs and darkness. This failure serial is dragging me around in circles and I guess I am too tired now to fight against it. The flame of hope and glow that kept me alive all this long, is now extinguished. All effort, fight and hope was delusional and I knew it from the very beginning. I am clueless about what to expect from myself from now on. Can somebody tell me where home is? I just want to go home...

They say that home is where the heart is. I guess i haven't found my home. And we keep driving round in circles, Afraid to call this place our own.

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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