love...love...love...

Love is a very present theme here on Mk and believe me folks, I'm not one of those annoyingly romantic and sentimental teenager girls. If you have ever stopped by, you sure know of my several relapses on the subject. One of the many hypothesis that I mentally formulated regarding it was that I unconsciously assume that everything in my life is, at some level, connected to love and at the end of the day, regardless what happened, it all resumes to loving and being loved. So when I come to write down my troubles here on Mk, love is all I can translate them into.
One thing I must settle before going further on the subject is that I'm not necessarily loving in a romantic way someone right now. Cutting the chase, people, love isn't a priority for me. It was back in the day but after so much wear and tear, so much trying and getting disappointed afterwards, I decided to give a break. So, I'm undoubtedly  focused on planning my future ahead and enjoying this time of my life (they said these are the best years of your life, though I haven't done anything merely exciting... I'll remain praying they're right!). Thereby I am taking a sabbatical from everything that poisons my spiritual health ever since I flew back home. Trying not to take anything seriously and having some carefree fun. I'd be lying if I said I haven't had any relapses, I've had a few, all because I went back to wanting more than I could get and desiring what isn't mine. But happily, currently I am back on track, cool and joyfully focused!
I've been planning my future ahead. I have a lot going on and many more coming. I have my personal goals to attain at university, in my personal life and spiritually.
My personal life will see many changes coming soon starting from the place I'll be living at, which won't be the same and the people I'll be living with, who will be friends from my degree.
I also intend to get more involved at uni this year. Enroll at some societies and play some sports. Any of this can't be done without some financial security, so of course I'll be applying to some part-times, any kind of job really I can some days throughout the week or weekend, which will provide a substantial income by the end of the month besides my parents' monthly allowance, which I'm hoping not to need as much from now on.
Everything may sound somewhat idealistic and a lot to do but I really want to do it all. I'll start small and as adapt to the changes, I'll try new things. Keeping my time full and my life busy is important because it keeps me distracted.
So, this is it, bloggers. A brand new Tommy and a brand new season of my life coming out! Stay tuned if you don't wanna lose all the spicy details everybody loves (I'm kidding but we never truly know, do we? my life can get more exciting).



love always,
Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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A vida paralela dos sonhos

Já se perguntaram se a vida que vivem é um sonho e o sonho em que adormecem é a vida que dura?
Duas realidades paralelamente distintas e simultaneamente intersectadas.  Cada só no seu destino mas nunca se despegando dos percalços da outra.
Eu sempre sonhei mais do que vivi. Tristemente aos sonhos sempre achei mais graça.
De dia, de noite, de pé, deitada. Sempre conheci mais do mundo dos sonhos do que a realidade dos vivos.

Ouve-se falar em sonhos ligados a coisas e à concretização de desejos tanto conscientes quanto inconscientes. Eu, em contrapartida, sempre sonhei com momentos, que embora de términos felizes ou infelizes, sempre caracterizaram atos de bravura incontestável, deleito vagaroso e contentamento incomparável.

Sonhei que vivi a vida que não vivi. De dia feliz. De noite apavorada.
"É tudo uma questão de controlo", dizem eles. Eu digo-te que eles poucos sabem.

No momento em que o sonho vira a realidade, o controlo converte-se no acaso.
A sorte é jogada na mesa e se de cara bendita fores, coroa não chorarás.
E se em vez de estar a sonhar este tempo todo, vivi a vida que sempre sonhei?

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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an unfortunate story.

I never meant to be this way. I believe you never meant to be the way you are too. Is it your fault? Is it my fault? I don't know. It wasn't by accident, for sure.
We're the result of what the world has given and taken away from us and following that same thought, I was pretty lucky. I received more than lost. You, on the other hand, you've suffered more... way too much for the kid you were, in fact. It wasn't by chance you became the way you are. They made you that way.

You know... it's funny when you look back. I was so complete. So united in my own self and then you came along as haughty as ever. You've looked me with the blind eyes you don't possess and the soft hands you wish you'd have. In that very moment I realised I was about lose everything I had, everything I was and everything I wanted. Feeling unbalanced on my own feet and closing myself to my own darkness.
Don't you ever dare saying I simply walked away. I had to. You spoiled my happiness. You spoiled my sense of purpose. What more could I have done but walk?
You don't like me this way: needy, whiner, jealous. I don't like to have you that way: far, uncommitted, unattached.
So now here I stand and there you stand.
Filling another page of the unfortunate story of humanity.

I wanna tell you
How much
I love you



"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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When the truth is....I miss you.

Eu sou um ser extremamente carente e a culpa é tua.
Foste tu que me tornaste assim... tão carente.
Mimaste-me. Oh, como mimaste-me tu.
Como pude não viciar-me em ti? Responde-me. Como pude não viciar-me em ti?
Como pude não habituar-me à tua essência e deliciar-me da energia vital que trazias?

Tu, um ser completo. De tudo um pouco. De tudo um nada.
Eu, um ser tranvestido. Incompleto por natureza. Reduzido pelo vida.
Que viste tu em mim?
Perguntei-te tantas vezes. Que viste tu em mim?
Respondeste-me outrora que fora o brilho incessante que a lua tinha vista dos meus olhos. Tão brilhante quanto sol. Tão grandiosa quanto o mar.
Mentiste-me.
Eu já não vejo a lua há muitos sóis.

Quem tem te deu o direito de arrebatares a  minha alma e de te contentares do meu fraco ser?
Esperavas que te deixasse escapar impune, de rompante, sem um pesar de olhos?
Conheces-me mal.

Como eras tu belo. Uma alegria para os olhos de uma pobre plebeia.
O meu ponto de encontro. O meu oposto feliz.
Era suposto ser um final feliz. Eu e tu. Tu e eu.
Mas tu morreste-me e eu desvaneço cada dia mais.




"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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To my friends.

I wanted to devote a post to my friends. Not any or a friend in particular but all and each of them because all of them, on their own way, have added sugar, love and energy to my days and without their worth-listening teachings/advices, I don't know how I would have coped with some difficult situations of my life. So, dear friends, this is for you. I love you all, very much.
It wouldn't be fair if I didn't kick off this post by highlighting my oldest, weirdest friend of all times and ever since I've known myself as a person - my older sister: Kika. It's obvious that we share a deeper connection because we've always been together and been through the same stuff. And it is also obvious that the bonds of sisterhood are fed by tons of love we feel for each other. But it doesn't end here because we, above all are friends. I've never been able to hide anything from her and that sucks. Truly sucks because sometimes, as any other person, I just want to keep stuff to myself and I can't. She has this 'I-know-what-you-are-thinking' look that always disarms me. She is really sincere and has really strong opinions on everything and everyone. Thereby I'm always really afraid of telling her sttuff because I know how crucial her opinion is to me. She's not one to judge people but if she doesn't like you, for a strong reason, you will be able to tell because she will tell you, on your face, anywhere, anytime. She's really that kind of person and everyone, including me, loves her for that. I know she will never lie to me, not even to make me happy. And I undoubedtely treasure that honesty. So, that is what she has taught me my entire life, bloggers - to not be afraid of being myself and to always choose truth over anything and regardless of any consequences that may come with it.
Moving on to my best friend. People ask me several times questions such as:
1. How can you be best friends with a guy?
2. Don't you feel uncomfortable telling him some personal things?
3. Have your friendship with him never developed or went in a more romantic path? It happens to everyone.
Well, to all of these questions and depending on who's asking, I usually reply with "he's a great guy and we get along very well, so it is quite easy to be best friends with him" to the people I know and like and to everyone else, I just send my "it's-none-of-your-business" look.
If you're a follower, you may have noticed already but my latest post, back on Aug 28th was about him. So if you're interested, you might want to have a quick look at it: http://mk-galhardo.blogspot.pt/2013/08/to-my-person.html to see how important he is to me and how deep our connection is today.
He also taught me a lot as my sister. Not only knowledgeable stuff (he's really bright) mostly confidence. He isn't confident all the time and I know that because I know him. But whenever he's put in a evaluation, whatever it is, you will see his confidence sparkling. You will see him aware of his value as a person and  projecting his magnificient potential on whatever he's doing. And I truly envy him for that. He's a role model for me and I really love him and I don't think I can quite say it enough times.
Oh, there's one thing that annoys me truly about him and it isn't really his fault. It's the fact that he's handsome and has always desperate ladies sniffing around him. I mean, I don't mind. I want him to be happy, above all but I honestly think he should pick one and stick with her ;)
I'm finishing up this post by talking about my longest friendship after the one I have with my sister. My one, only and loveliest friend Nini. Oh gosh, I've met Nini when I was only 10 years old and we have been friends ever since. It has been almost 10 years of crazy friendship, can you believe that? We were kids back then!
I still miss that time. Anywho, today, we're the kind of friends who don't need to talk to or see each everyday. I like it because it has come to really solid stage where we just cherish and support each other no  matter what, where or when. And whenever we have the opportunity to be together, it seems like we have never stopped talking or seeing each other. Like the old times. Sisters from different mothers, as we used to say.

I have more friends, happily. But I wanted to underline this top three because they're my family and a blessing I have God to thank to.

Love always,
Tommy

PS. I have a lot of stuff coming up so make sure you stay tuned!

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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