Hello World and Hello people! It's morning and it's brand new day! The sun is out! The light's on us and there's no reason why sadness should haunt any of us.
Today I will talk about depression, y'all! In a responsible, realist and personal way. An illness that has been making quite a presence in Hollywood lately.
If you have been paying to the news, a lot of topics such as suicide, airplanes crashings and wars have been trending, a lot. I have decided to focus on the first as it is the one that is mostly connected with what I study and the one I have dwelled on the most throughout my life.
What is depression? Depression is a psychiatric disorder that is defined by extensive periods of experiencing sadness, desperation, helplessness, hopelessness and worthlessness. It affects your sleep, your appetite, your ability to concentrate, your mood that is always very sad or very irritable and your thoughts and that are increasingly more negative.
It is a mind illness, an illness of the mid. It is not something you can spot on people from the outside. You have to be in contact with the person to recognise the symptoms. Clinical depression requires a lot more of specification but I am certain that no one here is interested in reading all that clinical jazz. So I am just going straight to the point here.
Depression is a sedative state of mind. Your body is hostage of your mind that is darker that anyone could picture. Your motivation is nule and sometimes so is your desire to live which causes acts such as suicide.
Talking about causes, does any of you know what causes depression? That is one good question. Depression being a mind illness has no clear cause. Despite researchers having comproved the depression is partially inherited, it is mostly an illness that steams from the environment. The life choices we make, the relationships we've had, the problems we're facing and our own capability of coping with all this.
All psychological illnesses are little pyramids They draw back from life issues and family history and they slowly and increasingly add up with negative experiences and negative outcomes till the individual visualises death as more desirable than living.
My personal experience with depression is long and heartfelt. I have always had low self-esteem, high self-doubt, shame and lonliness feelings throughout my life. My adult life just started and I have been learning to deal with these feelings a lot better than I did in my teenage years. I've lived a comparisons life, always seeing better than I had and always secretely wishing for things to turn out better.
I've had several secret panic attacks that I don't think I've ever told anyone because I was afraid that sharing such would make of me another weak person who can't deal with her own issues. I was afraid of a lot of things. Mostly screwing up everything for everyone. I was always afraid that my presence would only make things worse for everyone else. I was always afraid that I would end up even more disappointed than I already was with myself. I was always afraid that I could never recover from losing people I most tremendously love. I was always afraid I could never be seen as desirable to anyone ever. Not in a physical, intellicatual nor emotional way. I was always afraid of so many things and so many of those at the same time.
And deep down my deepest fear was that I could never be enough and to be honest, that still haunts me. Everyday I try to remind myself that I can be good enough and that I have been more than enough at times even. It is a process and you have to get yourself in a stage in which you can see good things about yourself.
I think with depression, our body tends to let go more than our mouths can speak. We think we are invisible and others would never notice that sometimes is happening to us but the truth is that we aren't and others do, at least those who care.
Whenever I am secretly panicking, sometimes even secretly to myself (I am not even consciously aware that I am panicking) my body starts trembling. It is mostly visible in my hands but sometimes even my lips, my cheeks, my eyebrows are trembling. It is insane and it makes me feel so desperate.
This is such a personal topic to me and it is so very hard to talk about it but it is necessary because the epidemic is out there and people are feeling it.
From celebrities that have spent their lifetime making others laugh such as Robin Wiliams to your next door neighbour that you barely see leaving the house.
We are living in a world which constantly remind us that we are weak beyond all the power of richer, stronger, more beautiful, more charming, more everything people and if do let ourselves believe that, then we're screwed up and sometimes we're screwed up forever and life will always suck.
That's why we can't. Life IS worth living. There are people who love YOU. I guarantee you. There's so much better coming up for you. Just allow it, invite it to your house, to your life. Let that sun light shine through you. Sounds cliche but I am being the most honest I've ever been.
You need to get yourself out there and as much as you're afraid, and as much as you're scared and as much as you feel alone, give life the opportunity to show you better.
Be around people, get professional help, talk it through with a close friend. Just don't keep it to yourself. I will eat you alive, if you let it in. And that would break my heart as it did learning about the death of Robin Williams.
To end, I just want to let everyone know and beware of depression and its symptoms and its causes and its effects. And to those suffering from it, it does get better, I assure you.
Love always,
Tommy
PS. For more information about depression you can check Help Guide (the link to the website is below). I think it is such a well written, easy reading and self explanatory article that will answer most of your questions.
HELP GUIDE
"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado
