Heeey peeps!
It's Halloween! I loove Halloween! The costumes, the dark side, the sweet treats and the mean tricks
Anyway I really enjoy this day and even more now here in England.
The reason I'm writing at this moment is because I twisted my left foot and it really hurts and I can't walk so my Halloween plans were all cancelled.
But only for you guys, here's a snapshot of my costume. It's supposed to be a vampire version John Lennon.
Happy Halloween folks!!
Love always,
Tommy
"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado
I'm trying not to think a lot about my sister, nevertheless the idea of not seeing her for over a year keeps spinning in head. I'm gunna miss her sooo much :') I'm just too depressed bout it. I wish I had a friend with whom talk to :c
Changing the subject, here's a mash up I did a while ago of the first skype session me and my mates've done.
“I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you exist. Or something like that.” The Perks of Being a Wallflower
I guess I should say good things once in a while and stop this trend of negative feelings but I don't feel any better. Don't feel bad for me I'm used to this. From time to time, I feel this way. Deep inside I think I never stop feeling this way, luckily sometimes I have more important stuff covering it, which is good I think. When I was little I used to go my momma's bed and lay down there right close her waiting for her asleep and warm hug and then the whisper: 'it's okay darling, try to get some sleep now'. Other times I just ran onto my sister's bed and she'd say something different but with the same goal: 'Always the same Tomazia. All right, you can sleep here but try not smash or push me out bed, okay?', I just nodded and we both fell asleep in less than a minute and she'd eventually, fell out of bed . I've always had them right there to make it okay, so being such a weirdo was never that bad. Now, though they're still with me, they're fairly more distant and have to fight my own demons and battles what's becoming a major concern of me. I dunno what, but there's definitely something really wrong with me. I'm just too different in every single way imaginable. It's okay to be different but maybe if you're too different there's something repressed in your unconscious mind since your childhood that is keeping apart from the world, according to Freud. I have to figure out what's wrong with me and get rid of it and maybe someday I can just fit naturally and maybe who knows find my happiness there.
Love always, PS. Just finished my 3rd reading in two months. This is really a record to me. And this last book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, has turned my favourite of all times. I can really relate to Charles. I feel the same way he does. If you are looking for a book to read, I recommend this one. xxx
Heey peeps! I feel very ashamed for my undenial and unreasonable absence since I came back to England and therefore I come onto you all, my beloved bloggers who follow me worldwide, to apologise. I've been going through a lot lately and though I do have time to write and I don't have any inspiration to add to your lives.
My life's a mess, my emotion overwhelmed, my goals apparently unreachable and I didn't see a point in writing.
Uni has started for over a month now and I haven't made a friend. I'm still living at the same place as before with the difference that I now I share it with a rat. Yes, that's correct. I have a rat as a roommate. Long story short, I saw a rat a few weeks ago in my apartment, I obviously overracted like a little girl then made myself enoughly strong to go after it, couldn't find it anywhere in the house but I'm sure it's arround making fun of me, that stupid bastard!
Besides that, I have been looking for a job, unfortunately nothing has appeared but since I'm incredibly tight with money, I have no choice but keep looking and hoping it will show up asap.
I'm driving crazy with my grandma and her stuff to do. During my entire life she never cared about and now expects me to do all these stuff like I owe her something. The truth is that I have repressed feelings for my grandma for things that happened in the past, I don't quite forgive her yet, but I won't bring this subjet to discuss now. And even with this not-so-welcoming past, I still want to be nice and help as much as possible but she is difficultating my life and I need to get some distance from her otherwise I might do or say something I don't want to.
My sister's going to Brazil next week what means that I won't be able to see her so soon. So, great!
I spent a lot of money in something very stupid so Im kinda tight.
For all reasons above plus my nostalgic inner personality, I'm feeling depressed and I can't get in mood to study since last Friday what is not good since I'm full of assigments to hand at the end of this week and beggining of next month.
I miss my best friend like hell. I miss my mommy and my daddy's security. I'm so sad my best pal, my sister, is not going to spend Christmas with me when I miss her companion so so much.
I kinda have to go to the gym because I haven't been going lately but I'm way to lazy to it.
Anyhow, Im gonna start doing something now and hopefully I'll say something later this week.
Sorry for not bringing good news.
See y'all next time
Tommy
Here's the thing. I'm mad. I feel betrayed by my own sister. She decided to get married and live in Brasil. We were supposed to do this together. I know I'm being selfish and childish but I'm really mad. She was one of the biggest reasons for me to do all this. Abandon my course, leave my friends, leave my family, my support, my security. In order to us to do this together. She promised me. The stupid bastard promised me. I was waiting for her. All along. She had no right to blow up our plans like this. Now she's going to Brasil, beyond atlantic and I stay here. By myself. We always did everything together and in the past couple years we haven't done a lot together. I've missed her. I was looking forward for this. It's not fair...I really want her to be happy. But does it have to be so far? I won't see her at least for a year. She couldn't have done this to me.
Enough said.
Aren’t kids
adorable? I know sounds weird starting a post with such statement but it has
some logic, you’ll get it. Well, allow me then to share my latest ‘fun’ experience
with one of 'my kids’.
My charming
7-year-old-cousin, Stephanie Melanie, did something very naively that put me through
to a very uncomfortable and embarrassing situation right a few days ago.
It all
started when I went to pick her up from school last Tuesday and noticed that her
music teacher, Mr Davidson, according to her, to be honest I’m not 100% sure
whether I heard this surname or something ending ‘son’, anyway, going on, he was
obviously very handsome, very dorky style, besides being an actual musician
(this is a tip for you boys and men. I really hope you all know it, but just in
case, musicians are naturally attractive to women. So, you know what to do with
this info clever folks, don’t you?)
Anyhow,
moving to the awkward part, I naively, as well, meant to comment with Steph
that he was interesting and I was intrigued about his age. She said she didn’t
know and I said okay and I thought this was the end of it. Well, never throw a
clock bomb like this to a child. It tends to explode in the worst moments. And
yes, never underestimate the brain of a child. Some are simply remarkable.
So what
happened was… Everything was cool and forgotten until a couple days ago, when
my grandmother asked me how things were going between me and steph’s teacher. I
was shocked by that approach coming from nowhere but nicely and discretely, I explained
her how everything was only a misunderstanding. Later, on the same day, I went
to pick steph’s from school again and this time she was over excited like she
was bringing very good news. They really were great and she was sooo excited
she didn’t even wait to come onto me to tell the one, she just yelled them.
‘Mr.Davidson is 25. I’ve just asked him.’ Believe you think you can imagine my
poker face but you can’t. And there he was, looking in our direction like
everybody else. Well, facing that situation my reaction was exactly what someone
as grown up as me could do, I munched a few words to Steph and dragged her and
especially me, out of there. It was an awkward moment, very likely to be one of
the high ones, top 5, of my awkward moments list, which unfortunately, is getting
longer and longer.
In a very
weirdly way I think I’ve learnt my lesson here. Being smooth is always the
rule. Never tell a child your entire plans, just tell them enough for they to
know how to help you and make sure you enlighten them about what to do and more
important, what NOT to do. Lulz
A summar of these first days of uni. Everyone's nice but I miss my friends. The classes are good but I miss my friends. The uni is excelent but I still miss my friends. I'm trying to cope with this nostalgia and put me eyes on the prize in order not to fall in a depression, but this is hard. I'm pretty sure you can all understand.
To finish,
folks, I'm having a disturbing experience with a bastard rat. I hate rats. I hate not desirable animals in my house. Mental breakdown. And tonight I leave you all with a very special song. One of my faves. One of the requirements of my wedding ceremony (Is a bit too early, but
c’mon who never thought about it?). Anyway, I believe that is every girl dream to
have someone whom or with who, sing this song.
In my
short, barely experienced opinion, I believe this is the basis of a love
relationship and this is what I want for me:
A part time lover and a full friend.
Stay cool
folks. Yes ‘long time no see’ during this September but I promised October is
going to see more from me.
From a 15-year old teenager who wrote to as an outlet to a storm of unknown emotions she used to bear inside of her, to a 23-year old woman trying to make it in a world that continues to deny her the best things. I am Tommy G. A fighter by heart. A reader by nature and a traveller by choice. I am not very lucky when it comes to love but I am immensely blessed when it comes to family and friends. I am just a girl looking for an opportunity in this world to make a difference without being noticed. Will I make it? Follow me on my journey home.
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