It is the wrong kind of time to be thinking of you - The Story!

The story I'm about to relate has no beginning nor end; time here is an endless dimension of space where one selects dictatorially that moment from personal history to which to look back and from which to look ahead. 

It was something as random as a short bus journey that brought them together. It wasn't love at first sight. Instead a single moment in time in which she realised that that guy who nothing she saw once might be the guy who she always dreamed about.

Oh I’m so sorry if somehow I misled you but this is no love story. No such thing as a happy ending will come out of this. This a tale of two lonesome and despite young, very old souls who leaned on each other to face chaos and accidentally fell in love. My only job here is to report the events that preceded it.

If once there was golden days, 2009 was the year where it all started. Her name was Ivy Anne Twaine. She did not much like it and never really understood it. She liked to think of herself as an ordinary child of the nineties but God knew she was different. The older child of an once-happy-but-now-divorced couple; a random and lousy member of a very large and controversial family; sort of an introvert, although I don’t quite know how she might qualify and a cheerful supporter of day dreamers. 

If I were to describe her that is what I would say. I don’t think you need to know more and very honestly I don't think she would like it.

Ivy lived several lives in several places. Hung on one or two buddies to get her through each of them. The year she met him was the very first year she felt she belonged.

She was about to be eighteen - oh that marvelous age. The freedom of being able to disappear to Neverland, without having to notify everyone...Ivy’s family had just moved in to a brand new house at a very charming neighborhood. After all they’ve been through as a family, to finally possess a beautiful house with a flourished garden and a fancy car they could call their own was a victory.  

He was remarkable. Named Alexander Usborne Jr. after his grandfather - a celebrity of the 60s. A bright and handsome young man who was way too good for her, as she'd say. He had the perfect life and the best friends in the world, or so he thought, before meeting her. He felt nothing missing until nothing became the whole that turned his entire life upside down. 

All of this happened, more or less, like this.

.

From the top…

September 10th, 2009.

For Ivy, two-thousand-nine was the year she decided to look ahead. Past was a foreign language she could no longer comprehend and ahead of her she the possibility of trying new in order to attain better and for now, that was all she needed. 

All great stories are characterised for having great beginnings and tragic ends...and well folks...this one is no exception. 

It all started on a late summer afternoon of 2005, the very first day of a brand new school for Ivy. 

"Ivy Twaine as you all must know, is a transferred student from Dallas, Texas. She will be joining this class and school from this day on. Miss Twaine, would you like to come up here and say a few words about yourself? We' are all very interested to get to know you better."

This was a standard deceptive question, people. Don't be fooled by believing that they value your thoughts, when the truth is they are only expecting you to do as told. 
Despite Ivy's familiarity with such situations, she nodded nervously and walked across the room, passing through all those unknown wondering faces. 

She thought to herself as she walked: "what type of information do people expect to hear the first they meet someone?" Excess of information certainly can initiate undesirable stereotypes that she, as the subject in question, would mostly dislike to put up with later on; however lack of information might as well fly her right into the misfit crew of the class as the new Ms "we-d0-not-know-anything-about-you-so-she-might-as-well-be-a-serial-killer". 

Still uncertain of what the situation required, Ivy said:

"My name is Ivy, I'm seventeen years old and I am formerly from Austin, Texas. My family and I have just moved to California and I am looking forward to join this class for this school year"

"Fantastic Ivy. Is there anything else that you would like to add? As for instance, which subjects are you mostly interested in?"

"My favourite subjects are English, Music and P.E., ma'am"

"Great Ivy! You may now go back to your seat."

"Thank you, Mrs Ignus"

"Class, it is the duty of all and each of you to receive Ivy the best you can and show her around the school. Make sure to make her feel welcome to the family we are here."

"You should also remind yourselves that this is your final year in High School. If you want to make it to a good university, this is the year to make it possible"

The day was finally over and Ivy made her way to the bus stop. One of her colleagues was already there. He walked up to her and said:

"Hi, I'm Alex! I just wanted to introduce myself as well. Are waiting for No. 2? I also take it to get home so we may see a lot of each other in the future. And of course if you need any help regarding school or anything else related, please just let me know. I would be thrilled to help you. Would you like to stay with my number, just in case?"

"Hi! Errmm... thanks... sure... Actually, if you don't mind, could I simply dial mine into your phone? It's a new number so I haven't memorised it yet. You can text me so I'll stay with yours. "

Will hands Ivy his phone and she masterly quick dials her number on it.  "Done."

"So, Ermmm, how is it to live in Texas?

"Certainly not as hot as here! It is lovely and all but, you see, we’re in middle October now and it is still over 30 degrees"

"I guess you're right. You will get used to it, though"

"Hopefully... I'll the definitely miss all the green, the blissful music, and most importantly the funny boots and unnecessary hats all around the town, though. "

Will giggles. 

"I don't think you will find any of those around here. It is a shame, though. I would love put my cowboys’ boots on, once in a while. They've been in the attic for ages"

"Maybe you should! It's nice to stand out in the crowd once in a while and cowboy’s boots would definitely make you noticeable. Anyway, so that you know, I was only born in Texas. I don't remember much of it. My family and I having have been travelling all around the country ever since I remember being myself."

"That stinks! Awesome! I've always wanted to travel all around the US. I don't think I know half of the states!"

"You mean 'Cool', right?"

"Oh yes, we here say stink as cool. Unless it is really stinking. In that case, we say it literally"

"Oh, okay. Always good to know some local slang"

"But yeah, your life must be awesome! Is your family intending to stay here for a while?"

"Yeah, I think we are settling here for a long time now. Apparently and according to family counsellors, it is not good to travel all around the country with your kids, it unables them to construct a sense of identity and socialise with other kids."

"Oh, I see. Good to know you're sticking around though. You will like it here and we already like you." The bus stops in front of them. 

"I'm sitting back there. You coming too?" says Alex. 

"Oh, no, I prefer sitting in the front. It's less noisy and my house is only a few bus stops away anyway "

"Oh... see you tomorrow then?"

"Sure. see you and nice to meet you"

"It was really nice meeting you too, Ivy." He said looking into her eyes. 

She was always very secure of herself. She learned the hard way to build the strongest shell people ever expected to find in to protect herself from ever getting hurt again. 

Her mother, in her good days, used to say 'My darling, men aren't trustworthy' but even if she hadn't, years seeing man after man leaving her house after remaining less than six months, she would've, by herself, drawn the same conclusion." 

A week passed, and soon a month and in the blink of an eye, it was the last day of Autumn term and Christmas was four days away. 

People tend to love Christmas. It is a family time and for Christians an opportunity to remember Jesus Christ. 

However, Ivy never truly liked and always questioned the point of it. What are people exactly celebrating? The birth of Jesus Christ. If they're doing so, they may enjoy as well doing quick google research and check that Jesus Christ was actually a Summer-born baby and his birthday was intentionally altered in order to be collide with a Pagen Festival. So, if this is the reason people celebrate Christmas, it's nonsense. 

If they're just celebrating the opportunity of being with their loved ones this one time a year. Well, it's shame on all of them because they are walking hypocrites creatures! Once a year, they pretend to care about people they will not bother to call during the year. Once a year, they throw under the carpet all the stinky problems that make them hate each other. 

A closer look at the season also tells us that Christmas has never been about families. It was always about gifts. And now especially very expensive ones from very known brands.

Of course most people would argue that these are no reasons to hate Christmas and Ivy would agree with them, the only problem was that Christmas was much worst for her.

Ivy's birthday was on Christmas eve and that same day 4 years ago, she remembered like today, her nana had passed away.

Passed away, she thought, an euphemism used for the weak. Those who were unable to say and see the truth as cold as it was. She died. Her body was dead. Her soul, hopefully, somewhere better.  

So every year since, on Christmas day, Ivy would feel what psychologist would classify as depression. 

Depression is a misused term nowadays, Ivy thought. Most people have no idea how is it like to feel completely hopeless and alone during time when you're always surrounded by people. 

And that was how Ivy felt every single Christmas of her life. 

The day was over, Ivy was rushing her way to bus stop, as always.

Ivy was an introvert. Despite having been in that school for an entire semester, she failed to make one good friend. She would spend the necessary amount of time socialising for high-school survival purposes but she would not take it any further. She hated having to be someone she was not, even though she was always unclear of the person she was. 

As she arrived to the bus, there he was. 

- Hey you! Having seen you in a while. You're always on the run. 

- Hi! True, I have to be home early because of my younger brother.

- Oh, I see. Looking forward for Christmas? 

- Not really. You?

- Why so? 

- No particular reason. 

- Well I am definitely. My family and I are going to spend this Christmas' holidays in Switzerland. A lot of hot chocolate, seasonal food and skiing. I'm really looking forward to that.

- That does sounds amazing. Have fun!

- You too. Try to get excited. It's Christmas after all. It's all about being with your family. 

- I will

- See you after the break and Merry Christmas!

- Merry Christmas for you and your family as well. See you!

The day had arrived. There it was, her eighteenth birthday and she never felt as lonely. Her younger brother knocked on her bedroom door at precisely midnight just to tease her and tell her how old she was getting. They had bad days as siblings in the past, but as things were happening throughout their lives, they have learned to only trust on themselves. 

'Thanks Lucas. I'll start worrying with my age when my beard start growing as yours." She replied back.

He soon left and she was left alone again. 

She thought of her grandmother. How she looked sick but still made time to buy her a present for her birthday. A mp3. So that she could enjoy the music she loved at any time of the day because music was the fuel of happiness, she repeated. 

She was listening to Lionel Richie. Her nana always said that he carried with him the future of soul music and Ivy couldn't agree more. 

Kids nowadays intoxicated themselves with meaningless pop music. She didn't despise them completely but in no way could been compared to the 80s or 90s songs. It all sounded the same. Some guy hitting on a girl. Some girl or guy in love. Love. Love. Love. Oh god. love. Love was so overrated in songs, she thought. 

Ivy was about to close her eyes and sleep when her phone rang. Her nana would have said promptly 'Who is calling at such an ungodly hour?' She giggled at the thought.

It was Alex. 

- Hello?

- Hi. It's me Alex.

- Yes I know. Why are you calling me so late?

- Oh yeah, I'm sorry. I hope you I didn't wake you up.

- Not completely, I'm unsure whether this is a dream or not. Anyway what can I do for you at...errmm... almost 2 in the morning?

- Oh, nothing. I just wanted to wish you Happy Birthday!

- How in hell do you know today is my birthday? 

- I have access to some personal information of our class as I usually do some extra work for our head teacher. 

- Oh I see. You're the teacher's pet.

- Not like that. I just really want to get into med school and will do anything make my student profile appealing. 

- Good for you and Thank you for calling,  I guess. 

- You're welcome. Have a great day and merry Christmas again.

- How's Switzerland?

- In the same place, as you know it is located in the middle of Europe between several countries so it can't move that much. 

- Funny you. Sarcasm does not fit you at 2 in the morning. 

- I know, I'm hilarious.

- When do you come back?

- Two days before new year's eve. 

- Oh, Cool.

- Do you have any plans?

- Do you mean for the New year's? 

- Yeah

- Not really. I'll probably just stay home and maybe watch some fireworks through my window. 

- That sounds lovely but just in case you're not too busy, you can come to my party. My parents will still be in Swizerland so I'll have the house for myself and I will have a few friends coming over.

- Friends...

- Oh, I thought we were friends

- Yes, I suppose so.

- We are definitely friends and you are definitely coming, right?

- I can't confirm quite yet. I have to talk to my mom. I have a younger brother and I'm not sure my mom is staying home. So, I have to talk to her.

- Oh, ok. I hope you can come and sorry for waking you up again. And Happy Birthday! 

- thanks, bye

- See you soon.

This was weird, even for someone as Ivy. He could have called in the morning, it was only a few hours away anyway. It was one of those things not worthy overanalyzing. It wouldn't get her anywhere. So she finally closed her eyes and got lost in her dreams.

The day went smoothly. She got a couple of message from some old friends, a card from her younger brother and 50 bucks from her mother. 

Christmas day was ok as well. She focused on her music: playing the guitar and writing some lyrics. She also got some work done in her room. Painted a wall in purple. And donated some old clothing to charity.

It was the night before New year's eve. She got a text from him. She thought she would wait until morning to reply. But in the morning she forgot about it and got lost doing other stuff.

Her phone rang again. It was Alex.

- Hi

- Hi, I'm sorry. I was going to reply your text but I was a bit busy

- No, it's fine. So will you be coming?

- Yes, but I can only stay till 1. You know, because of my brother. My mom is going out.

- Oh okay. I can drive you after it, if you'd like.

- Why do you take the bus then if you drive?

- Because my parents don't want me driving to school. They say I can drive when I get to college but not before.

- Oh, ok.

- Do you need me to pick you up? or can I just text you my address?

- I guess I'll be fine with the address, though I easily get lost. Especially here where I don't know much.

- It's fine for me. I can pick you up at 9.30.

- In that case, I accept. See you later tonight.

- Bye.

Ivy never was the girly type of girl but she wanted to look nice for once. So decided to sneek into her mother's wardrobe. They wore the same size. Her mother was indeed in amazing figure for her age.

She found a dress. It was beautiful. A sleveless nude long dress. Lacing up on the waist. She didn't want to draw much attention but it was the only good dress she found. So, it had to do it.

She opted to match it with a pair of black high heels her mother bought for her during the previous Summer, since, according to her 'a girl must always carry one pair of good shoes in her wardrobe'.

Her mother made her make-up. She was never good with that kind of stuff and she always had trouble finding makeup that would match her dark skin tone.

At 7.30, there he was. Damn he was punctual, she thought. Her mother opened the door as Ivy slowly came down the stairs.

He looked stunning, like a young bachelor. Ivy had never seen him that way but that night she realised how handsome and fit he was.

He said promptly:

- Wow, You look great, Ivy.

- Oh thank you, you too.

- Ermm, this is my mom, Rebecca. And the one sitting on the couch is my brother, Lucas.

- Nice to meet you all and Happy New Year!

- Shall we go now?

- Yes, my car is parked at the end of the road. I found no other spot.

- It's fine. I better get used to walking on these, she said pointing to her shoes.

- They look nice.

- I guess they are.

- Funny you.

- Not as funny as you.

- I'm glad we agree on this.

They walked to his car in silence. He open to the door to let her in. His car was a black vauxhall astra. Really nice and incredibly clean for a guy's car, Ivy thought.

They talked about music on the way to his house who was closer than she imagined. She could have just walked.

The party was stinking as they would say. His house was huge. She had no idea he was this rich.

There must have been about a hundred people there. She couldn't count them all. He offered her some poncho but she rejected as she didn't drink any alcohol.

He soon took her to the 'VIP' zone where some her classmates where hanging. They looked all drunk even though it wasn't midnight. Everyone must have arrived there ages before her. She chatted with a couple girl for a while but soon enough lost interest. She wandered around the house, finding no calm spot.

She then decided to go outside. Picked blanket and her coat and went to sit outside under this enormous tree.

She was lost daydreaming when he appeared. She barely noticed him.

-You're ok?

-Yeh, I'm fine.

- You're not having much fun, are you?

- It's been alright, don't worry!

- You're a bit of an introvert, aren't you? What's in your mind now?

- Not much, if you want me to be honest. I am thinking about the year that is almost gone. What it much it meant so many people and how little meant to me.

- Why do you say so?

- Well, my life doesn't exactly fit your LA standards. There is not as much as excitement nor drama going on. All that is preponderant happens within me.

- You're weird. 

- Are we supposed to point the obvious now? Well, if so, you're rich. 

- I am not rich. 

- Are you sure? Your house looks like a tv star house. 

- My parents are however. 

- It's the same.

- It's not. I have always learned that I should only assume as mine what I have obtained through my effort, so no, I am not rich.

- You're weird. 

- I wondered when you would come to that conclusion. I like you.

- Why?

- Do I need reasons?

- Yes. If you like someone, you probably know why you like them.

- Well, I like how you're different. I like how you try not to standout but you always do because you are good in a lot of things. I like how you sometimes are mumbling 80s songs. I like your handwriting. I like how you don't care about gossiping and labels. I like you. 

- Does it usually works with girls?

- What?

- Mentioning obvious things about them?

- That wasn't my point. 

-So does it?

- You're so complicated. Just take the compliment.

- Am I supposed to feel flattered then? Should I thank you?

- No, you don't have to do or feel anything. And I don't think you do anyway.

- What do you mean?

- Do you like me?

- I don't know.

- Have you ever thought of it?

- No, I haven't. 

- Do you like anyone right now?

- No... I don't think I do.

- Ok.

- Would you mind if I go under the blanket... it's freezing cold.

- I suppose I don't. It's your blanket.

- Thanks.

- You're really warm.

- You're really cold... It's almost midnight, you should get going.

- Why should I?

- You're the Host.

- I don't want to. Am I making you uncomfortable?

- No, it's fine.

- You have really pretty eyes, Ivy. 

- Well I've always been told that dark brown eyes are extremely uncommon and lovely.

- You can't take a compliment, can you? You're so sarcastic.

- I'm sorry... thank you?

- Better. And yes, you have beautiful eyes and I love your skin tone.

- Overly-tanned-almost-burned it's the latest trend in skin tones, I've heard.

- If it is, I love it... Would you mind, if I kissed you?

- I don't know. I might. 

- Good enough for me.

It was midnight. The New Year's was here and there was Ivy, kissing the guy under the tree. 

They talked about music, they kissed more, his love for football, they kissed, her love for writing, they kissed. They kissed as passionetely as they never had kissed anyone ever and if their stories have ended right... God, it would have been a blissful love story. 

But it didn't. 

 *MISSING CONNECTION - STILL WORKING ON IT!

September, 10th 2010. 

After all they've been through, they couldn't expect a better end. It was it. No more running. No more hiding. No more lying. It was the end of everything they knew... including themselves.

I guess in the end things work out the way they're meant to be. You seldom get what you want because if you did, you'd ended up missing something that you really needed. 

I'm not one of those fellas who rely much on fate but I do believe it rules part of your life. Sometimes, fate is on your side and everything goes as you wish but most of times, well, most of times, you’ve kind of settle on your own destiny by taking control of your life. 

In one way or another, no matter how it ends up to be, in the end it will always be about the chances you taken, because regardless what they put you through, that make up who you are as a person and that's the only thing you take away with you.

Ivy last thought was something happy. She thought how good it was to be with him one last time. To be laid out with him like a Queen on the silence they now own. Her life was vanishing through her thin and tired fingers and even though she was in immeasurable pain, she still thought of him. It was the wrong kind of time to be thinking of him.

Dave very last thought is still unknown. Certainly people 'till this day remember him as hero. Certainly people 'till this day leave flowers at his grave. And above certainty and doubt, he was surely the happiest corpse I've ever seen.

I will always remember Ivy Anne Twaine. Her manic side. Her depressive side. Her crazy adventurous side. She died the person she always craved to be. Her living memory is with me and only me. No one else remembers her. No one else was her but me.

"Be of good cheer. The hour of your deliverance will come.

The soul of freedom is deathless.

It cannot and will not perish"

Winston Churchill

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado