Eureka: I shall be the right person in order to find the right people!

Hi y'all.

Last night, I was getting ready for bed at 3 in the morning after an incredibly long and tiring week in which I was unable to finish any academic work properly or concentrate at any important matters, when I had a sudden realisation or what Archimedes would have called of Eureka, of how I should act.  

Thereafter, I am sorry bloggers but I don't come here to share my contentment  but instead to express what has been stuck in my head all week long but I couldn't quite manage to translate into words.

Some background info first: There's this guy that I finally learnt to like and after all the process of sharing one's supposedly feelings for the other, we seemed to have reached a deadlock - an impasse. We don't talk as much as we used to and we barely see each other now. Things are simply not working as I hoped they would. Whatever reason was, I spent all week cracking my brain to understand him and us and feeling terrible because it's got to be my fault in some way. At this point, I decided to move forward and let go of all of this. I was in such a happy before I met him so I don't think I need any of this crap in order to be happy.
That's why I hate getting attached to people.Once you do it, those people will grow in your trust and you will let them see you vulnerable and with no freaking shields when they go away.

Anyway, after an entire week of debating with my consciousness about relationships and the whole dating world, I finally reached a wise conclusion. 

It's not about finding the right people, it's about being the right person. With this I don't mean in any possible way that what happened was my fault. I don't think you can blame anyone for developing romantic feelings. What I mean is applicable to every kind of relationship you develop throughout your lifetime. We mostly expect and murmur about not finding the right people when we should be focusing instead in being the right person.

To be the right person means substantially being yourself and open-minded. Able to feel empathy towards another and learn to cherish their presence. Keep a positive attitude and be willing to learn and encompass your life knowledge with them. 

So, from now, regardless what happens, I will try to be the right person and not this crazy movie character that I sometimes become. 

Not too sarcastic, not too sentimentalist. I'll try to maintain things simply and think straightly.

I was just so frustrated over this whole situation whole week that I couldn't literally focus on anything else. However, I believe I found some sense in all of this and will try to make this experience teachable. I have nice moments to recall and I definitely learned important things about the dating world. So now I know better how to be behave and what to expect.

And I haven't given up hope in finding the right person. I have all these awesome examples surrounding me of how one can definitely find the right person. My sister, my housemates, one of my best friends, for instance. They're all in healthy relationships with their happiness shining brighter than the sun and all of them got there by being the right person. So I'll take their example and I'll try to be more myself and focus on all that matters :)
So yeah, that's all folks. Have a nice weekend! 

Love always, 

Tommy

PS. Last Saturday I went out with my good friend Nicola. Nicola is a Chinese girl who is studying her last year of management at my university. We met at drama and ever since we have been really great friends. She is amazing and I truly adore her! She is the definitely the one good friend I made this year.So, y'all, meet Nicola.

This is how I looked when I went on my date.

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Not all those who wonder are lost.

Not all those who wander are lost.
I think this might be my favourite quote of all times.
I like the idea it carries within. That one can wander around with no direction but still not be lost. It represents many of my days. Today for instance.

PS. MY sister's birthday is tomorrow! May she have a wonderful day. She knows how much I love and miss her every single day. You are so special in so many ways and so talented. Looking forward to see you achieving all you deserve. I love you mana,

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Hey y'all! I'm good! :)

Hey bloggers and Hey November!
Hope you're all great and having a good time this month.
I know I've been quite absent around Mk and to those of you who take your time weekly to check what I have been up, I offer my sincere apologies. I have been busy and not much inspired. On the good side, I do have a few half written posts for this month that I may conclude writing up and later turn them public.
If you are wondering, I am good. Everything is overall good. Honestly good.
University has been doing its job to keep me busy with assignments; My housemates have been doing their job to provide me fun moments and emotional support thereafter besides MK that used to be the only place I had a voice, I now have another place. Don't you worry, folks though, Mk is still my perfect spot to shout out the world! :D
I have my depressive moments every now and then. We all do, right? and we girls, gawd, it sucks being a girl. You go through all these crazy moods during the day. You're happy, then you're bored, then you're sad, then you're depressed then you're having suicidal thoughts! How does this happen??
Anyway, many times I find myself missing home, my best friends, specially Dave and Leote. Other times, I just miss being around people who know me and to whom I don't have explain why I am the way I am or why am I acting silly or in a childish way. Sometimes I just feel like doing. I'm one big child. Always been and hopefully will always been. I'm a hell of a introvert who likes soothing songs and nostalgic moments. I am weird, take it or leave it folks! As simples as that!
Summing up, I miss a lot of things that are important to me and to which access has been prevented but I am honestly okay being where I stand now because all of this has been allowing me to experience a new life; the type I have always dreamed but never quite experienced. This world of parties and clubs where people are happily young, careless and naive. I don't hate it, I must say. It is exciting!
As I wrote a few posts ago, I met someone. It sounds weird saying it but yeah I did. It's a guy from Drama Society which I attend every tuesday at university. He is quite nice and we get along well. We went on a date and I really had a good time but then he texted me something that made me think something didn't go that well for him...
Anyway, I think I may say that I like him and he said he likes me as well so it is a good sign.
Nevertheless, we have some problems communicating that are mostly likely my fault. My english is still developing itself and I don't always make myself as clear as I should. Well, that's lie. I mean it is true but not the reason why we've been having problems. Every single day I realise how much I still have to learn compared to these native folks. But I am not quite worried as I have time to polish it as much as I would like.
Anyway english, just as much as my portuguese, is at its best state when I feel relaxed and comfortable. When I rather feel anxious, nervous and intimidated, both my thoughts and words are halfway cut off (I think I started feeling this way when I realised I liked him and thereby wanted unconsciously to impress him). Anyway, we're in a really weird position. I don't know how to explain it not even for myself so, I'm just making sure I am not falling for him because I don't wanna leave this really weird and unresolved situation for no reason hurt.
I've been reading quite a lot as welI but as much as I would love to say these books are related to psychology, they are not. I will make a personal goal of reading psychology/criminology related books next year. You should start revising your goals for this year and check what is still missing :)
So this is it, bloggers. Life is good..

Love always,
Tommy

ps. Check the photos below for a house party/halloween party that I had in my house a few weeks ago and meet some of my new friends

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An uncomfortable feeling.

Hey bloggers! Hope you're all alive and breathing.
I wrote this post sometime last week and never got to post it. I don't feel that way anymore. I will try to make a new post, showing the progression of my feelings. On how today even though I still don't feel secure or good enough, I still want to give it a go.
More in detail, later. Stay tuned.
I truly adore you all and I don't even know you.
I guess it is just because you take your time to listen to me bragging or complaining about random daily events.

Love always,
Tommy

For me being/feeling nostalgic is a result of instances in which I had felt insecure, fragile or lonely. Of instances in which I'd hope I'd have a friend around. Well, I am feeling nostalgic today. The instances behind it don't really matter because all I know is that putting myself out there is harder than I expected.
You convince yourself to face challenges more challenging every single time and every single time you regret having made that decision at least twice. Well, I regret having put myself in a scenario in which I knew it was double threatening for me.
On the one side, I can see the positive out of all this: it made me feel uncomfortable. And now you wonder how can feeling uncomfortable be a positive sign. Well, it works as simple as this. If you feel too comfortable somewhere. You'll stop putting effort into it. You'll stop finding it attractive. You'll start considering whether it is worthy to keep on doing it. However, when you see yourself troubling to get something done, you need to improve yourself. Do better, try harder, dig deeper.
On the other side, the benefits from it may only come on a later stage. So till you get there, you'll find yourself having a hard time. Feeling extremely uncomfortable and progressively sadder. So, when the benefits really do arrive, even though you appreciate them, they won't make the whole "suffering" go away. Thereby the question you need to make to yourself is, is it really worth it the trouble?
This time, I don't it is, plus, it requires too much from me. You all know how much I've worked to get where I stand today. Looking back, it seems easy but I didn't feel that way going through it.

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Hey Underdog world, I'm still Happy!

Hello underdog world! It's me Tommy as usual. Just wanted to make a quick update on my life. It would be expected, due to my usual mood swings, that I'd been on a "bad" place right now but I am not. I have only reasons to be grateful so I am focusing on all that.
So, yes, I'm still in a good emotional place, although some unfortunate and undesirable events took place in my life. They did not affect AT ALL my mental state. I've never felt this balanced and fulfilled in my entire life. :D
No, honey, it's not an alien writing this post. It's me the same old Tommy. I can prove that with a random but very classical act that only someone as me would commit. I've just broken my right-handed wrist from playing the guitar. Most people would do some hands warm-up exercises before playing, but because I'm super professional and good at it, I didn't and well... that was kind of the result...
I will be fine though. All for the sake of being able to play a known song on the guitar by the end of this year.
Oh, since I'm on the subject. I've been having some very interesting ideas for Christmas' presents this year. Can I just say I LOVE Christmas. I know I've said that a trillion times but I mean it and now more than ever. I love my family and equally 2012 and 2013 has taught us so much and obligated us to grow up so much not only as individuals but also as a family. We're closer than ever and now we can appreciate the blessing of having each others in our lives. So, again Xmas presents. Well, as always I have a list of family members and friends who I would like to "present" with a little heart felt something and this year is no exception. My list has grown a bit, I decided to encompass my lovely housemates too. They really take care of me so I would like to return a bit of the same love.
As you can see, I'm in an urgent need of getting a job.  Otherwise no meaningful Xmas gifts this year haha.
Well, of course my life hasn't been only about "wondering" who to offer and what to offer. I've been studying too, not as much as I should've been, but a bit. I've been attending this drama society group at my university. I've had the opportunity to meet some new people. I'm still working on personalizing my room the best I can. Of course, I'll never stop checking on my grandmother and my uncle dede back at Leeds, at least once a week.  And well the list goes on...
I think that's all for today, fellas.
I'll try to make more updating posts. I really like making them.
Please be safe and make sure to have a good time this week :D

Love always,
Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Lazy Gal!

Hey young fellas! I'm baaaack :D

Today's going to be quite a quick post. Just to say that I'm trying to enjoy my uni life more and to share my newest obsession with you all. 

Let's start off by stating the obvious: I am a lazy gal. I know that. You know that. Every single being on this planet probably knows that. And lazy people as myself really look for the easiest ways to make things done. And well and a few weeks ago I hit on an app that hopefully will make your life a bunch more easier too. 

I love to read and I read a lot. But sometimes I find my eyes way too tired for the job or I don't quite feel like going through the pages, so someone invented "Audible" which is an app sponsored by amazon. It's an app for both androids and apple fellas so no "geek fighting" over this, where you can find loads of audible versions of known books. So, there you have it. No more need to outwear your vision any longer. For a bit more than 5 quids (pounds) or sometimes even less, you can get the book that you want at a price you can afford in circumstances that you will sure love. 

Go get your free audible book here after a quick sign up! 

Audbile

Love always, 

Tommy

PS. No one paid me to advertise this app. I really adore it and it was job to share it with the world. I may be doing more app posts. I'm always looking for new ones and once in a while, I find treasures as audible. Make sure you stay tuned on my second blog to hear all about it.

http://stuffworthlookingat.blogspot.co.uk

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado 

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