I wrote this post sometime last week and never got to post it. I don't feel that way anymore. I will try to make a new post, showing the progression of my feelings. On how today even though I still don't feel secure or good enough, I still want to give it a go.
More in detail, later. Stay tuned.
I truly adore you all and I don't even know you.
I guess it is just because you take your time to listen to me bragging or complaining about random daily events.
Love always,
Tommy
For me being/feeling nostalgic is a result of instances in which I had felt insecure, fragile or lonely. Of instances in which I'd hope I'd have a friend around. Well, I am feeling nostalgic today. The instances behind it don't really matter because all I know is that putting myself out there is harder than I expected.
You convince yourself to face challenges more challenging every single time and every single time you regret having made that decision at least twice. Well, I regret having put myself in a scenario in which I knew it was double threatening for me.
On the one side, I can see the positive out of all this: it made me feel uncomfortable. And now you wonder how can feeling uncomfortable be a positive sign. Well, it works as simple as this. If you feel too comfortable somewhere. You'll stop putting effort into it. You'll stop finding it attractive. You'll start considering whether it is worthy to keep on doing it. However, when you see yourself troubling to get something done, you need to improve yourself. Do better, try harder, dig deeper.
On the other side, the benefits from it may only come on a later stage. So till you get there, you'll find yourself having a hard time. Feeling extremely uncomfortable and progressively sadder. So, when the benefits really do arrive, even though you appreciate them, they won't make the whole "suffering" go away. Thereby the question you need to make to yourself is, is it really worth it the trouble?
This time, I don't it is, plus, it requires too much from me. You all know how much I've worked to get where I stand today. Looking back, it seems easy but I didn't feel that way going through it.
"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado
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