It's so hard to do, so easy to say

“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.

Richard Bach quotes

Why is it so hard then?



"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Mood change

Sometimes I'm surprised about how easily I can change my mood.... It's a click really. A song. Something I heard. Something I thought. that's it. I'm quite instable.
By the way, am I the only one who everytime that tries to take a deep photo, u know, something more creative and with some sort of meaning, the photo turns out to be something similar to this:

The classic psycho face. Every. Single. Time. Maybe my inner goddess is warning me about my deep down psycho personality lol

Sleep tight peeps.
Love always,
Tommy

PS. I'm starting to get pissed off with people who think that 'cos Im here I must know everything bout England and speak english fluently. Do they know how long it takes to learn and speak english comfortably around native english speakers? Ain't easy. So, you're wrong, Im still learning. Please give me a break.

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Just an ordinary day...

Hey stranger,
Yesterday I was intending to post about how horrible I am, and how low committed I can be sometimes, and how much I hate the way I sometimes approach the challenges that pass through me. But then, today, well  today was a really nice calm relaxing day.I had an interview in the morning then I went right away to uni. At 1.30pm I left uni and Huddersfield and head to Leeds city centre to buy this lovely jeans  I've been flirting with for over a week (and a few more things). Meanwhile, I read my fifty shades darker book on the train and bus and spent some time poring about it, it's really an extraordinary book! (I feel so blessed for this year, really. Finding books I enjoy has always been a drama for me and this year I've gotten the oportunity to read such great novels) and now I'm getting ready to go to the gym (Well, I'm late cause I decide to write before leaving home) and then, after it, I'll head to gram's to check how dede, my grandma and Stephanie are doing since yesterday night, the last time I was there and finally head back home and watch TBBT with my lovely Sheldon Cooper. I mean, it may look a lot for a day and not to outstanding and amaxzing, but it's, and the work is nothing compared to my other days and I feel relaxed. I feel like I'm in a good place right now and it's been a while I don't feel this way.

Love always,
Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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HATE myself and this gloomy weather, mostly myself!

Sometimes I just feel like hiting myself, very hard.
I was checking my criminology essay that I submitted last week and noticed some mistakes in it. I ddin't double check before submiting it because I was only a couple minutes to the deadline and I didn't have time enough to do it. And the reason I didn't have enough time is 'cos I wasted almost all my time procrastinating instead of working. I seriously have a problem. I feel depressed now... I really wanted to have a good mark on this, this is the heart of my course, the one thing that made me come here, why am I not focusing for real, commiting as most as I can on my goals? I'm so disappointed with myself. I could've done so much better... and the sickness isn't the one to blame. It's true I wasn't feeling okay last week, I barely had strenghts to leave my bed, with my head aching, my heart pounding fast, coughing like I was dying,  throwing up, feeling febrile and etc, and of course I didn't have no one taking care of me and this was the 1st time I really had to look after myself but it's still not a good reasong for all this self-sabotage I've been putting myself through all this way long. I keep doing it. I think I'm not capable and delay as much as I can.  I don't get it. I shouldn't. This is what I've wanted, all I ever wanted. what's missing?

Love always,
Tommy

PS. Here's a snapshot of me looking the most serious I can. People say I'm always smiling. So this is how I look not smiling. Not so pretty innit? I dont exactly look pretty smiling, I look like a monkey, a funny monkey tho. When I look at other people's photso on fb, all looking like high fashion models and some of them are really pretty in person and I look like ... Arrghhh, hate myself or my parents...not really they've got good genes, my siblings are skinny and pretty...it's only me.

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS, I LOVE AND I MISS YOU LIKE HELL, YOU LITTLE BASTARD!

YOU'RE MY BEST PAL AND YOU'RE THE MOST STUPID, INCONVINIENT AND HONEST PERSON I KNOW. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL AND SKINNY AND NOW YOU'RE 20 AS WELL, SO JUST START ACTING ACCORDINGLY! PLEASE DON'T. I DON'T MEAN IT. THE WORLD IS FULL OF NORMAL PEOPLE FOLLOWING THEIR STUPID COMMON SENSE AND GUESS WHAT? THEY ALL SUCK! AND YOU DON'T, COS YOU'RE JUST AS CREEPLY WEIRD AS I AM AND THAT'S ANOTHER REASON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

HAVE FUN, YOU STUPID BASTARD ;) 

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Keep your eyes on the prize, babe!

That's why I'm writing this post at  almost 5 in the morning. And tomorow I have to be up at most at 7.30 :|

So, yesterday it was quite a busy day. Stephanie slept here in my apartment for a couple of days because my gram went for a short trip with her church to London. Itt was cool to have sorta a roommate ;) a roommate with lotta needs, to be honest. Having to wake up early on a weekend is quite harsh when you're not used to and when you fell asleep a couple hours because you were  working on an essay. So, saturday was all about that.  Spent all day pretending to be working but paying attention to Steph.  Anyway sorry for not posting nothing decent in the last couple days and today won't be quite different. Nevertheless, here's an image from 9gag that capturates my exasperation and despair ;)

To all you working your ass off in order to have a relaxed Christmas, well good luck! Say no to a lot of procrastination, if is just a bit, is okay and good to ease yourbrain. Remember, keep the eyes on the prize, but most importance keep yourself alive. Do not push yourself too much and have some fun once in a while. For example 9gag is a great place to go just to relax and laugh for a bit, pure fun. Well about my prize... well my prize for the next 3 years is to go to New York on a placement next year and finish this degree with legendary grades.

Well, to achieve this goals I'll be kind of needing some luck too. Well wish me luck peeps! (This week's going to be sooo hard. The worst ever! I've never had some much to do and so little time)

Love always, 

Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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I start to think I'm a jinx... :| :|

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Ready or Not, Here I come!

"Interesting. Sex works even better than chocolate to modify behavior. I wonder if anyone else has stumbled onto that"

You probably noticed but in case you didn't, I have huge crush on Nerds characters (and real nerd guys!). First, Dr Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds and now Sheldon Cooper from TBBT.
As much as people may say appearence or personality is the x-factor while getting to know someone, I still believe intelligence is the one which makes all difference, at least to me. I'd never date a superficial guy and I can say that cuz I've tried and it didn't work :/
I believe I can speak for the minority, GEEKS ROCK!

Love always,

Tommy



PS. This song is so catchy and fun! And her voice is WOW, so different and A-MAAAA-ZING!

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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common sense

I am just wondering, why do people call it common sense when it tends not to be that common and most of the times, doesn't make any sense at all? Just wondering...

It's past midnight, so yesterday I woke up feeling quite sick again. I do feel better now, not fully recovered yet, but way better, the problem that arises now is that  I have considerable delay in my Uni assignments compared to the others, but whatever, I don't care, I gotta be focused on using appropriately the remain time I have to each of them  :P

Love always,

PS. I've been posting every single day. I want to achieve 500 posts before New year's eve! :o
Stay tuned, maybe we can achieve 18 000 views as well. That'd be awesome :o

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Remember me

Our memory is quite impressive.

If deep inside, we want to keep something in our lives,even if is harmful to our mental health, our memory will do us the favour of erasing all potentially negative moments, so whenever we decide to revisit it, we'll only see the good things.

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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16 000 views, that's INSANE!!! Most certainly an honour for a random chick like me *.*

This is the 'Official' image of my only novel named "Whenever, Wherever, Whatever, Forever". A friend of mine done it. She's great. Thank you Cintia once more :)

I don't usually quote myself because I don't think I'm entitled to be quoted. However, this is a special novel I wrote last year. I'm not a writer and I don't aim to become one because I'm not particularly talented in it. This blog has become my diary, my public diary and you all have been following my journey in this very long, but still short life. This Novel means so much to me and represents exactly how I felt in the summer of 2011 when I wrote it. It seems like a lifetime ago, Though it was last year... I don't fake feelings, so someone who really knows me, knows that most of the feelings I try to pass through the novel are feelings I felt inside me.

Today, after several months without reading it, I read it once again. It was weird. I can see so much more flaws now and  where to improve and make it much better. But I won't do it, It will stay exactly like this because it represents a closed chapter of my life, except the last section of this novel, written in the 2011 autumn that carries feelings and emotions there are still very much alive in me. 

I've tried to translated to English but because is such a long text, it requires a lot of time and effort and commitment to it and I don't have any of that in the moment. I'll try to do it as soon as I can, though. If you're not portuguese, you may try to use a translater site to read it now. It won't translate perfectly, I've tried a few, but it gives the general the moral and idea of this novel. On the other hand, if you're not hurry at all, you can check Mk in a week, at most two and you'll find my translated version.

Love you all always,

Thank you vor visiting. We alread reached the 16 000 views! Thank you for spending your time reading the thoughts of a random portuguese chick ;)

Portuguese/Original version

« Quero que guardes este anel para sempre. Que seja o símbolo do eterno companheirismo e o amor sem fim que sempre nutrimos um pelo outro. Pertencerá a uma dimensão atemporal, àquela em que nós somos soberanos e o tempo se curva a nossos pés.

...

Part (…) (Rascunho – Não editado)

Still waiting …

Passaram-se quinze anos desde que o Matthew morreu e 70 anos desde o dia do baile.

Esta será a última vez que te declamo, meu amor, antes do nosso destinado reencontro. Sei que dentro deste caixão velho de madeira, o teu corpo jaz morto, frio. Hoje compreendo porque partiste tão cedo. Eu necessitava de sugar a beleza e a experiência da vida antes de te ter em meus braços e de te poder olhar de frente. Cada segundo que passa, sinto o meu corpo a direccionar-se à negra e sedenta travessia. A minha sombra já está vazia e já não encontro lugar para o meu corpo. A minha vida tornou-se efémera, demasiado áspera sem ti. O futuro já não é incerto, nem temeroso. O destino procura-me, eu desejo-o.

Ao longo destes anos guardei-te em mim de uma maneira muito especial. De uma maneira que não consigo cuidar de mim ou de alguém fora de ti. Não sei porque te sei amar desta forma, de todas as formas, sorrindo e chorando e continuando a guardar-te num sítio pacato quando preciso e num lugar selvagem e cinzento quando se torna propício. Guardo-te em mim à minha maneira, à tua maneira, à maneira do mundo. Enfim, não sei. Aprendi a guardar-te para mim como jamais fui capaz de interiorizar qualquer som ou movimento das raízes do mundo. Guardo-te em mim porque me fizeste muitas coisas e porque te dei a conhecer outras tantas. Não sei bem o lugar, ou a razão porque te continuo a guardar sempre, talvez porque te adore, te ame, te queira ou te deseje. Talvez porque eu em ti era muito feliz, talvez porque aprendeste a gostar de mim e a ensinar-me isso bastando ler o brilho do teu olhar. Hoje guardo-te, bem em mim, porque talvez sinta que preciso de ti para continuar viva num mundo em que tu já não brilhas para mim. Talvez porque sinta que tu és a única excepção e mereces um lugar de privilégio e regalias. Tu foste um anjo, uma estrela, uma borboleta, uma força, um furacão em mim. Despejaste tudo de ti em tudo o que sou e agradeço-te por isso. Talvez porque foste o meu primeiro amor, a minha primeira viagem ao céu sem destino de volta, a minha primeira vez de amor simples, que se embrulha em nós, amor que é capaz de virar em cada esquina e dobrar cada paragem. Guardo-te em mim porque um dia deixaste que recebesse a tua luz e repousasse em teus braços. Não sei porque o continuo a fazer, contudo amando-te assim, só te consigo guardar muito, e só em mim. Hoje o teu corpo já não se encontra vivo, mas mantenho-te em mim, precisamente junto do meu coração e colado nos parapeitos da minha pele. Chegaste em mim em forma de tudo e levaste tão pouco quando saíste. À minha maneira ou à maneira do mundo tenho-te sempre em mim. Difícil será não precisar de ti, não te guardar, mas hoje, meu amor, preciso deixar o teu espírito voar, sei que só nos voltaremos a reencontrar. Amo-te, hoje e sempre.

Copyright 2011 – Tomázia Galhardo © »

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Why all the good guys are taken or gay?

I seriously think I'm going to die alone in a flat with 3 cats (Not really alone if I have cats, innit?).
My luck with guys is the worst. I attract all the wrong guys, all the pervert ones with ulterior intentions.
I wish there was a sort of online store  to find nice, sensitive, cool guys. I mean, the portuguese boys tend to be like this but I don't find them much interested in me. You know, it's hard when they're looking for blue-eyed blonde skinny gurls, and yeah, not so tanned skin. When I came to the UK, I felt flattered with so many guys after me, asking me on a date. I was happily surprised. I went on a date with one of them, in June, we went diner in Nandos, which is a cool relaxing restaurant, after the dinner we walked around city, he asked me if I wanted to go clubbling (Friday's nights ritual lol), I said no, he took me back home, kissed me good night and that was it. But he was SIORUSLY the only nice guy I've met here since I arrived. It's a shame things didn't work out between us (Now I know lol) . Let's hope there are more decent guys around. I'm not a cat person :|.

Love always,

Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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I JUST DON'T KNOW

I AM SO SO SO FREAKING MAD!

I HATE BEING SO JEALOUS BUT WHAT'S MINE, IS MINE AND I DON'T WANT NO ONE ELSE EVEN FLATTERING. SHE ACTS LIKES THEY'RE INTIMATE, BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW A THING ABOUT HIM. AND I KNOW HIM BETTER THAN SHE OR ONE OF THE MANY HERS AROUND HIM LIKE BEES, WILL EVER KNOW!!!!

WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO ATTRACTIVE? WHY CAN'T HE BE JUST MINE?

THAT'S WHY I DELETED MY FACEBOOK ACCOUNT. I CAN'T COPE THIS JEALOUSY NO LONGER. I HATE BEING A STALKER, I'M NOT A STALKER. AND I HATE FEELING SO FRIGHTENED WITH THE POTENTIALS 'SHES'. I AM SERIOUSLY CAPABLE OF STRANGLING ONE OF THEM. I'M NOT LIKE THIS, I DON'T DO THE JELLY TYPE OF GIRL OR DO I? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO HAVE SUCH A POWERFUL EFFECT ON ME AND VISIBLY ON ALL THEM? DOES HE EVEN KNOW HOW FREAKING ATTRACTIVE HE IS WITH HIS BRIGHT-DORK-FUNNY STYLE? WHY DO I HAVE TO FIGHT FOR A SPOT IN HIS LIFE? I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO... I ALWAYS FEEL SO FRAGILE AROUND HIM. AND RIGHT NOW, THOUGH HE'S NOT AROUND, I FEEL THE SAME. HONESTLY, I FEEL LIKE CRYING AND STRANGLING, MOSTLY STRANGLING.

I NEED TO MOVE ON. I NEED TO MOVE ON. I NEED TO MOVE ON. I NEED TO MOVE ON. I NEED TO FORGET HIM. I NEED TO FORGET HIM. I NEED TO FORGET HIM. I NEED TO FORGET HIM.  HOW MANY DO I NEED TO SAY THIS TO MYSELF IN ORDER TO START WORKING?

THERE ARE DAYS SO MUCH EASIER THAN OTHERS BUT IT'S ALWAYS SO HARD. WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO FREAKING PERFECT? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO ATTRACT SO MANY? I HATE IT AND I LOVE IT. I MOSTLY HATE IT.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M WRITING THIS POST, EVEN MORE IN CAPITALS, BUT I'M SO FREAKING MAD AND I FEEL LIKE SAYING A SWEAR WORD, BUT I WON'T. AND I MISS HIM SO MUCH. AND I FEEL SO POWERLESS. AND I WANT TO BE WITH HIM. I WANT TO HUG HIM. I WANT HIM TO BE ONLY MINE SO MUCH. AND I WANT ONE OF MY NIGHTDREAMS OR DAYDREAMS TO BE REAL. AND I DON'T WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY. AND I WANT TO FORGET HIM. AND I HATE MY HEART FOR ALWAYS CHOOSING THE WRONG GUYS. WHY CAN'T I LIKE SOMEONE WHO LIKES ME BACK. I LOVE HIM AND I HATE HIM. I MOSTLY LOVE HIM, I THINK. WELL, I JUST DON'T KNOW. I DON'T WHAT PEOPLE SAY IS LOVE, BUT IF THIS IS IT, I DON'T LIKE. I DON'T WANT IT FOR ME. I JUST DON'T KNOW.

LOVE ALWAYS,

TOMMY

Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Mama bear :3

                        
I think I spend too much time trying to fullfill other's expectations on me.This realization came kind of nowhere, I was just think about everything and everyone and at exact time nothing, when this thought crossed my mind and after spending a little bit focusing and wondering on it, I realized is legit. Achieving other's goals to myself was always easier because if I didn't, I had no responsability on it, This year was different though, I came to the Uk to achieve my goals and I don't have others to blame if I don't achieve all or any of them. The ideal 'Tommy' is over. She's now fragile and as guilty as everyone else for her actions. I have this most troubled mind, I can't stop thinking and overthinking everything. Thoughts wanders all day aroung my mind, either random negative stuff  ' how people would react to my death? Who would really miss me and who would fake it? or where the Gypsies etny has started? Do they have a country of their own? or just creating random explaction for the most common behaviours. All this, I think to cover the big whole in my life of not having family and best friends close. I listen to lot of music, I don't like the silent and I do exercise, and spend entire afternoons in the library reading and sometimes late night, I order fast food.
I don't quite know the point of this point. I know we are only a month and few weeks to the end of 2012 and I want to actualise myself for 2013. Create a new identity, full with new friends, new forms of happiness and goals. I don't want to forget anyone and I don't think I ever will, they're all under my skin, especially my family and my best friend Dave, but I think they're all moving on with their lives and I should do the same. It's not that I won't have them with me, I just have to learn to live far from them. Life's a journey where the learning is the key to find short cuts and avoid suffering and agony.
Anyway,moving on, below are the best photos last saturday when Stephanie and I alongside with a few Stephanie's pals celebrated her 8th birthday. I believe in my easy touch with kids therefore I can say fearless, we all had a blast! Obviously, they had more than I did. My momma bear instinct was alert and I unfolded myself into many to keep my eyes and arms on everybody. No one dies in my command lulz.

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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That wasn't me.

This is another exquisite song by Brandi. She's the queen of raw songs.
This songs reminds me of the many times I was afraid of what could happen to my dad, where he was or what woud I do if he needed me. All the the times I felt embrassed. This songs illustrates as well how he felt during that time for the pain he was unconsciously causing. Whatever I saw then, that wasn't him. It was the addiction leading him to the most rough path. Addiction is strong enough to separate familes for a while, but not strong enough to destroy them. Happily, my dad was strong enough to get rid of it and move on with his life and join his family in a happier path. It was late for him and my mom to get back together, but it was not too late for me, my sister and my brother and him restart. It took some time and a lot of pain, but he finally did it and I couldn't be prouder and thankful to God for it. Whatever I'll see now, that will be him.

There are milion similars cases in mostly all families throughout the planet.
If you're going through something like this, my advice to you is to remember that familes stick together no matter what. So, do not give in to despair, do not give up on them, Do not give up on yourself.

Love always,
Tommy

PS. I truly believe music is my addiction. I spent all my day with my headphones on and I change my  mood according to the music I'm listening to. I don't think is such a bad addiction but I do have to moderate it though.

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Nobody said it was easy...No one ever said it would be this hard

I'll be posting something more decent tomorrow but for now, these photos and this song.
Yesterday was such a marvellous day, I got to spend the day with these two adorable kids and a few more and even though the tiredness of my weak body and the money spent on it, it was worth every second and every penny of it, because of the smiles and squeezes I received back. It may sound lame for somes, but for me, that's quite enough.
Today, for some reason my disturbed mind, ran over the memories of Portugal and how badly I miss everything: my family, my best friends, my earlier life, my earlier age. I wish they were here or I was there, but in any way, all together.

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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You know we have is separate ways

You know I'm not one to break promises
I don't want to hurt you but I need to breathe
At the end of it all, you're still my best friend
But there's something inside that I need to release
Which way is right, which way is wrong
How do I say that I need to move on
You know we have is separate ways

And it feels like I am just too close to love you
There's nothing I can really say
I can't lie no more, I can't hide no more
Got to be true to myself
And it feels like I am just too close to love you
So I'll be on my way

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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*Charlie Tango*

Hello strangers!
Well today I finally organized myself a little bit and wrote down everything that needs to be done by me before December, the 31st of this year.
Well, from it, my conclusion is that November is going to be THE WORST, PURE HELL. I've got so much to do and so little time and patience. Honestly, I don't have a single how I'll manage to cope with all that.
The good news is that I couldn't wait for no longer so I bought the 2nd and 3rd book ebook version of the trilogy I told you yesterday about. I've started to read the second book today already. It is SO exciting. I'm thrilled to see how the story will develope. Nevertheless, here lays my problem, I eager to read and spend all my day gobbling and enjoying this fabulous book but I can't. I have school work and others stuff very urgent to take care as well . Thereafter, I decided I'll read the book only at night, after midnight and while I'm on the train or bus, which is actually enough time to enjoy a good reading. So, in the meantime, this is a problem solved.
Because I don't have already too much to this month (I'm being sarcastic! today I decided to join to my time another thingy very special and that I was looking forward since 17 and a half. When the right time has come, I'll let you know what it is, if you haven't discovered already ;)
What have you guys been up to?

Love always,
Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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"We aim to please, Miss Steele."

It is impressive how moody I've become over the years. Yesterday, I was fairly happy, jumping of joy, spreading my happiness due to this very pleasurable beginning of University in the UK. And today, I miss feeling a single thing, not even sadness or anger. I just don't feel. Not feeling is a scary feeling and honestly I fail to know how to explain because this a first to me.
Moving on, today the good news is that I've finished to read the first book of the trilogy Fifty shades of grey. Isn't really that awesome finishing a book. I just want to share with you about this one. I completely loved it. In many more ways I thought I'd love. It's not the amount of sex parts that makes it so enjoyable, honestly I got a bit borrowed of reading the sexual act explained in so much detail, so I skipped some of these parts. What really captivate me in this book was the story (OBVIOUS FACT), which is so unfamiliar from common love stories. It's an esxquiste book, but a surprisingly good writing and a captivating story. I intensely reccommend it.
I intend to start reading the 2nd book, tomorrow or Friday. I still have to buy the ebook.
How are you guys doing? Hope fine.
Laters, baby!

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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yeeeeey!

Heeey geeeekiess! What's up? Just to share my happiness of receiving my very first Excelent in England. It's A-MAAAAZING. I'm so happy.

Love always,
Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Many people find me weird and hard to please. In my opinion, here's why!

I don't drink coffe
I don't drink tea
I don't drink coke
I don't drink anything with alcohol
I can't eat an entire burger by myself (only cheeseburgers but no chips)
I can't eat two slices of pizza without feeling self conscious
I don't have a favourite meal
I generally enjoy fruits
I generally enjoy salads
I'm generally to lazy to buy fruits or salads because I always think I won't feel satisfied only with it when I actually do.
I feel guilty when I eat something I shouldn't
I feel guilty when I watch a movie I shouldn't
I feel guilty when I dream about someone I shouldn't
I feel guilty when a swear word comes to my mind and I feel like saying it and I don't find another word to describe what I'm feeling
I feel guilty when I act like a stalker
I hate when someone ignores me
I hate when I pretend to ignore someone I truly care about
I hate washing dishes
I hate failing at anything, I don't know how to deal with failure
I hate loving a book too much that I can't sleep before finishing it
I hate missing people
I hate having the feeling I am smothering someone - sometimes I think I am smothering my friends with my nostalgic attitude.
I hate not having plans
I hate not meeting a requirement
I hate not feeling pretty enough
I hate not feeling skinny enough
I hate not feeling smart enough
I hate looking like black spot in a photograph
I hate feeling less than other gurls
I hate pressure
I hate feeling lonely
I hate buses
I hate airplanes
I hate awkward silences
I hate when I can not think fast enough
I hate the colour stigma - balck people should date only black people, white people should only date other white people. and the list goes on.
I hate when people can't characterize a black person without saying they're black. When I refer to someone white, I don't start saying they're white. I just highlight characteristics features of their body, language, personality.
I hate when people think because I'm dark skinned I must behave like others from my race - that's a racist assumption!
I hate mornings.
I hate groceries shop
I hate being too different
I hate feeling attracted to someone I have shot with
I don't like blonds - boys or girls, I don't have good memories from blondies. I hate their superior attitude.
I find guys with the dorky appearence hot
I like intelligent guys
I love God
I love reading.
I love talking to myself out loud
I love dancing free style, no boundaries, just moving according to the rhythm
I love being asked to dance with someone
I love hearing compliments
I love singing
I love karaoke
I love trains
I love knowing entire lyrics from a song I love
I love when a song I love reflects my spirit
I love music
I love when someone special saying something special to me
I love feeling unique and special
I love hugs
I love nights
I love full moon's night
I love going to the cinema
I love going out just to dance
I love children
I love to help
I love finishing something
I love fanta
I love shopping online
I love to present people
I love making people feel special
I love Christmas
I love travelling
I love clearing my ideas with music
I love spicy prawns
I love ordering food online - I hate paying for it :p
I love new clothes
I love making new friends
I love my mother
I love my sister kika
I love my father
I love my brothers
I love my lovely cousin Stephanie ( Happy Birthday Puccaaaa! I love you too, always)
I love my uncle Dede
I love my best friend, Dave.
I love Friendas (they know who they are)
I love my oldest and eternal buddy Nini
I love my geeky bud, Leote
I love my best auntie, Zinha
I love my cousin and buddy, Bruna
I love my church best buddies: Isaa and Luana
I like everyone who ever said or did something nice to me
I believe in marriage
I believe in happiness
...

As you can see, I might don't eat, drink, like a lot of stuff, but there plenty more I love.

Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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So give me your forever, please your forever... not a day less will do from you

That's what we all wish for, isn't it? Having someone to whom give our forever, not a dat less will do.
As all Ben's songs, Forever is exquiste, fit everyone in every possible situation.
Though is a slow song, isn't sad. On the contratry, it's a very inspiring song. Makes me wish and dream. Perhaps someday, I'll find someone who trusts me and who I can trust enough to give to each other ours forever, forever.

Not talkin' 'bout a year
no not three or four
I don't want that kind of forever
in my life anymore
forever always seems
to be around when it begins
but forever never seems
to be around when it ends
so give me your forever
please your forever
not a day less will do
from you

People spend so much time
every single day
runnin' 'round all over town
givin' their forever away
but no not me
I won't let my forever roam
and now I hope I can find
my forever a home
so give me your forever
please your forever
not a day less will do
from you

Like a handless clock with numbers
an infinite of time
no not the forever found
only in the mind
forever always seems
to be around when things begin
but forever never seems
to be around when things end
so give me your forever
please your forever
not a day less will do
from you

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Omgoodness, this is SOOOO true!

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Many people call it many things. I like to keep it simple: love

Isn't life funny?
Yesterday, my sister and I were fighting about who should stay with the largest room in the new house and today, well today, we're still fighting, this time about who should hang up the phone first.
We're atlantic apart. And it's such a big distance, you know. So far...
She's living in a hot country, facing temperatures of over 40 degrees and trying to create a new chapter of her life where she and the guy she decided to marry some day, are happy.
And I, I am supposedly living the dream, analysing criminal's behaviours, having my own money and house, paying my own bills, doing every big decision I need to take, you know, everything by myself and living in a bloody mary cold country were only temperatures below 0 degrees are accepted. Such a huge difference. Precisely the opposite. I am claiming my independence to the world and she's showing to it that love can literally move mountains. So if you think is real, you should just follow it, no matter where it takes you. Silly? maybe. But you do not know until you try.
Bloggers, you may have to power to make your own decisions, to follow a certain path, but you have no power, absolutely NO POWER, when it comes to the consequences that will follow your decision. You have no power to decide your destiny. You just go with the flow and hope for the best.

Love always,
Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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