I JUST DON'T KNOW

I AM SO SO SO FREAKING MAD!

I HATE BEING SO JEALOUS BUT WHAT'S MINE, IS MINE AND I DON'T WANT NO ONE ELSE EVEN FLATTERING. SHE ACTS LIKES THEY'RE INTIMATE, BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW A THING ABOUT HIM. AND I KNOW HIM BETTER THAN SHE OR ONE OF THE MANY HERS AROUND HIM LIKE BEES, WILL EVER KNOW!!!!

WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO ATTRACTIVE? WHY CAN'T HE BE JUST MINE?

THAT'S WHY I DELETED MY FACEBOOK ACCOUNT. I CAN'T COPE THIS JEALOUSY NO LONGER. I HATE BEING A STALKER, I'M NOT A STALKER. AND I HATE FEELING SO FRIGHTENED WITH THE POTENTIALS 'SHES'. I AM SERIOUSLY CAPABLE OF STRANGLING ONE OF THEM. I'M NOT LIKE THIS, I DON'T DO THE JELLY TYPE OF GIRL OR DO I? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO HAVE SUCH A POWERFUL EFFECT ON ME AND VISIBLY ON ALL THEM? DOES HE EVEN KNOW HOW FREAKING ATTRACTIVE HE IS WITH HIS BRIGHT-DORK-FUNNY STYLE? WHY DO I HAVE TO FIGHT FOR A SPOT IN HIS LIFE? I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO... I ALWAYS FEEL SO FRAGILE AROUND HIM. AND RIGHT NOW, THOUGH HE'S NOT AROUND, I FEEL THE SAME. HONESTLY, I FEEL LIKE CRYING AND STRANGLING, MOSTLY STRANGLING.

I NEED TO MOVE ON. I NEED TO MOVE ON. I NEED TO MOVE ON. I NEED TO MOVE ON. I NEED TO FORGET HIM. I NEED TO FORGET HIM. I NEED TO FORGET HIM. I NEED TO FORGET HIM.  HOW MANY DO I NEED TO SAY THIS TO MYSELF IN ORDER TO START WORKING?

THERE ARE DAYS SO MUCH EASIER THAN OTHERS BUT IT'S ALWAYS SO HARD. WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO FREAKING PERFECT? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO ATTRACT SO MANY? I HATE IT AND I LOVE IT. I MOSTLY HATE IT.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M WRITING THIS POST, EVEN MORE IN CAPITALS, BUT I'M SO FREAKING MAD AND I FEEL LIKE SAYING A SWEAR WORD, BUT I WON'T. AND I MISS HIM SO MUCH. AND I FEEL SO POWERLESS. AND I WANT TO BE WITH HIM. I WANT TO HUG HIM. I WANT HIM TO BE ONLY MINE SO MUCH. AND I WANT ONE OF MY NIGHTDREAMS OR DAYDREAMS TO BE REAL. AND I DON'T WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY. AND I WANT TO FORGET HIM. AND I HATE MY HEART FOR ALWAYS CHOOSING THE WRONG GUYS. WHY CAN'T I LIKE SOMEONE WHO LIKES ME BACK. I LOVE HIM AND I HATE HIM. I MOSTLY LOVE HIM, I THINK. WELL, I JUST DON'T KNOW. I DON'T WHAT PEOPLE SAY IS LOVE, BUT IF THIS IS IT, I DON'T LIKE. I DON'T WANT IT FOR ME. I JUST DON'T KNOW.

LOVE ALWAYS,

TOMMY

Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado