A lot like in the movies!

I've been watching a lot of films lately and regardless their genre, each movie portrays a moment, a scene of endless love and passion because love is that universal if you think about it. Whatever is being portrayed, love must be embedded in because even in moments of pure darkness, love must be the thing to keep us sane and brave enough to fight for it.
The problem lies on the fact that in movies love is so easy. Tremendously, beautifully, happily easy to deal with. To love, to fall in love, to flirt, to feel passionate about someone. Everything is so "In the end it all goes away, in the end it all goes perfectly well", while on reality things in the end things just end. Reality can go a bit messier than we are taught in the movies since things tend to get much more complicated. Minimal problems tend to get in the way of what would be expected to become a beautiful, beautiful love story.
Maybe it is my short and not that pleasant experience talking here but somehow things simply don't turn out to be as good as predicted. Most likely you are the problem and they, your partner, the person you are somehow involved with, equally pays his or her contribution into feeding the problem into becoming a major, deal-breaker issue. As things progress to a more complicated time in any relationship, instead of feeling the comfort or satisfaction of having someone to lean on, you feel frustration and guilt mixed with sadness and desire to reset it all to a point in which there was only possibility to make it better and unique this time.
And once again you got let down again by someone you learnt to put your trust on.
I know, this is not exactly the positive perspective you'd expect me to have about love but it is the conclusion I can draw from my own experience. Maybe I am not meant for big relationships or big love stories. Maybe I am meant for small things and small feelings and the fact I haven't found IT yet is because I keep expecting the wrong things and thereby looking and finding the wrong people. The sooner I accept that not all love is disney designed bor  Nicholas Sparks pictured, the sooner I'll accept my own destiny with it.
Cutting all the crap here, just for a moment. I am feeling incredibly frustrated and I feel like it is all my fault. I am just a really silly girl who keeps falling for all the wrong people for some stupid stupid reason. And somehow I manage to keep doing it all wrong, over and over again; one bad thing topped by an even worst thing. It all kind of adds to my sadness and to feel this way about myself. To feel as if I am not worthy of their love; as if I am not attractive enough nor interesting or at any way enough for them...
Anyway, we are almost in the NEW YEAR and I can't stop thinking about all the things I have managed to experience this year and all the things I wish I could have done better.
But above I regret not having fulfilled my Resolutions and hope to manage to do it better next year.
Time really flies.
I am 20 and we're almost in 2014!
Love always,

Tommy

PS. I am not depressed. I am actually happy to be home and I had a really nice Christmas back home and that is what matters, right? :)

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Merry Christmas!

Hey everyone! I know I have been one crappy blogger over these last months but I couldn't miss this day, after all it's Christmas day. The day in which we not only celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ but as well the opportunity to be with our loved ones and make them feel loved.
So I just wanted to say that I love this blog and I love you all. I am very thankful for my family and my  friends and their amazing presence in my life. They're all awesome and mean the world to me.
I do not know what I can wish for because I have all I need to survive and be happy, even though sometimes I find reasons to depress about.
Life is great. Sometimes hard-working and mind-sweating but mostly great and just as much as challenging to keep me alert. So, I'll give all my wishes for you guys. I wish you all a happy life and joyful and holy Christmas with your loved ones. May you be happy and feel as loved as you deserve.

Love always and Merry Christmas!
Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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20!

This is it! I am finally 20! and well...
First of all, I don't hate the idea of getting older but I don't particularly like it now which is weird as I used to quite enjoy it til very recently. Secondly, my birthdays are almost always days to forget and erase from memory. And even though this has started nicely (thanks for the gifts and consideration dave, Nicola and lithuanian family), I always feel something bad is about to happen ... Don't know why. I just do.
Anyway I promised to myself and more importantly to Dave that I would try to enjoy it so that's what I'll do now.

In case. I won't post anything till xmas,
Merry Xmas folks
May you all be happy and enjoy the presence of your family members and friends on this wonderful day. May it be joyful and spiritual as supposed.

Love always,
Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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You are home to me.

This is the first day of the last month of 2013 and God, what a crazy year this was. So much happened. It was a year of firsts for me. After 2012 having been the year of major changes, I thought I wouldn't be experiencing any first experiences for a while. However, truth was that I did. I've grown to learn so much about myself and the world surrounding me and I still can't believe where I am today and where I was in the beginning of the year.
And these last four months have been a roller coaster for me. These months have been the peak, the highest moments of my entire life. I've felt myself fall in love. Not for the first time but for the first requited time. I've felt myself losing control of myself and my life and actually finding myself enjoying it. I've felt myself feeling just as much as good inside as outside and capable to do what would have been unimaginable things in the past. I've felt terrified and fragile but still not coming back to my safe place because I knew I had to go through this. I've felt sad, a melancholic kind of sad, the lonely kind of sad, the scared kind of sad, the nostalgic kind of sad, the anxious kind of sad. So many different kinds of sad that I quite couldn't keep track of all of them.
I've felt myself dreaming for the 1000th time and realising that reality not only matched my dreams but at some aspects, it was better for once.
I've felt the happiest and the strongest I have ever felt in my entire life. I've felt so much and I've hoped so much and I've experienced so much that not even drawing you, you could have pictured me.
And you may be wondering, what about now? well now, I know better what I want and what I am meant to do. Now I know better what kind of people I want around me and what I am looking forward to see in them.
All my life I accepted only what I thought I deserved. The problem was that I never seen myself deserving much. However now I know that I deserve better. Now I know that I can get more than what is available.
I want to be somebody's first choice. I want someone to like me for who I am and I want to feel free to be that person and not having to retreat to my sarcastic alter ego around them as a shield to protect me. I want to feel nervous and anxious because I want to please them not intimidated to express my inner silly self. I want someone who will appreciate my company and request it not only when they have nothing better to do but because they miss me and my presence would brighten in so many different ways and colours their day. I want to feel freaking special because I know I am and I know that I deserve to feel that way.
And at last, even though it may sound silly, I want to feel protected and loved like only home can allow. I want him to feel home with me as I hope to feel home with him. Each other's haven of the crazy world we live today.
So, for you single ladies and single men out there in the world feeling lost. Understand firstly that we are not lost. We're all wandering, in the happy expectation to find someone to call home.

Love always.
Tommy

PS. Of course I can't let the birthday of one of my favourite people in the world pass by! I love you Nini. I've loved you in the past when we were inexperienced kiddos. I love you today when we are no longer teenagers trying to figure out their place in the world. And I will always love you for the amazing example and beautiful heart that you have.

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Eureka: I shall be the right person in order to find the right people!

Hi y'all.

Last night, I was getting ready for bed at 3 in the morning after an incredibly long and tiring week in which I was unable to finish any academic work properly or concentrate at any important matters, when I had a sudden realisation or what Archimedes would have called of Eureka, of how I should act.  

Thereafter, I am sorry bloggers but I don't come here to share my contentment  but instead to express what has been stuck in my head all week long but I couldn't quite manage to translate into words.

Some background info first: There's this guy that I finally learnt to like and after all the process of sharing one's supposedly feelings for the other, we seemed to have reached a deadlock - an impasse. We don't talk as much as we used to and we barely see each other now. Things are simply not working as I hoped they would. Whatever reason was, I spent all week cracking my brain to understand him and us and feeling terrible because it's got to be my fault in some way. At this point, I decided to move forward and let go of all of this. I was in such a happy before I met him so I don't think I need any of this crap in order to be happy.
That's why I hate getting attached to people.Once you do it, those people will grow in your trust and you will let them see you vulnerable and with no freaking shields when they go away.

Anyway, after an entire week of debating with my consciousness about relationships and the whole dating world, I finally reached a wise conclusion. 

It's not about finding the right people, it's about being the right person. With this I don't mean in any possible way that what happened was my fault. I don't think you can blame anyone for developing romantic feelings. What I mean is applicable to every kind of relationship you develop throughout your lifetime. We mostly expect and murmur about not finding the right people when we should be focusing instead in being the right person.

To be the right person means substantially being yourself and open-minded. Able to feel empathy towards another and learn to cherish their presence. Keep a positive attitude and be willing to learn and encompass your life knowledge with them. 

So, from now, regardless what happens, I will try to be the right person and not this crazy movie character that I sometimes become. 

Not too sarcastic, not too sentimentalist. I'll try to maintain things simply and think straightly.

I was just so frustrated over this whole situation whole week that I couldn't literally focus on anything else. However, I believe I found some sense in all of this and will try to make this experience teachable. I have nice moments to recall and I definitely learned important things about the dating world. So now I know better how to be behave and what to expect.

And I haven't given up hope in finding the right person. I have all these awesome examples surrounding me of how one can definitely find the right person. My sister, my housemates, one of my best friends, for instance. They're all in healthy relationships with their happiness shining brighter than the sun and all of them got there by being the right person. So I'll take their example and I'll try to be more myself and focus on all that matters :)
So yeah, that's all folks. Have a nice weekend! 

Love always, 

Tommy

PS. Last Saturday I went out with my good friend Nicola. Nicola is a Chinese girl who is studying her last year of management at my university. We met at drama and ever since we have been really great friends. She is amazing and I truly adore her! She is the definitely the one good friend I made this year.So, y'all, meet Nicola.

This is how I looked when I went on my date.

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Not all those who wonder are lost.

Not all those who wander are lost.
I think this might be my favourite quote of all times.
I like the idea it carries within. That one can wander around with no direction but still not be lost. It represents many of my days. Today for instance.

PS. MY sister's birthday is tomorrow! May she have a wonderful day. She knows how much I love and miss her every single day. You are so special in so many ways and so talented. Looking forward to see you achieving all you deserve. I love you mana,

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Hey y'all! I'm good! :)

Hey bloggers and Hey November!
Hope you're all great and having a good time this month.
I know I've been quite absent around Mk and to those of you who take your time weekly to check what I have been up, I offer my sincere apologies. I have been busy and not much inspired. On the good side, I do have a few half written posts for this month that I may conclude writing up and later turn them public.
If you are wondering, I am good. Everything is overall good. Honestly good.
University has been doing its job to keep me busy with assignments; My housemates have been doing their job to provide me fun moments and emotional support thereafter besides MK that used to be the only place I had a voice, I now have another place. Don't you worry, folks though, Mk is still my perfect spot to shout out the world! :D
I have my depressive moments every now and then. We all do, right? and we girls, gawd, it sucks being a girl. You go through all these crazy moods during the day. You're happy, then you're bored, then you're sad, then you're depressed then you're having suicidal thoughts! How does this happen??
Anyway, many times I find myself missing home, my best friends, specially Dave and Leote. Other times, I just miss being around people who know me and to whom I don't have explain why I am the way I am or why am I acting silly or in a childish way. Sometimes I just feel like doing. I'm one big child. Always been and hopefully will always been. I'm a hell of a introvert who likes soothing songs and nostalgic moments. I am weird, take it or leave it folks! As simples as that!
Summing up, I miss a lot of things that are important to me and to which access has been prevented but I am honestly okay being where I stand now because all of this has been allowing me to experience a new life; the type I have always dreamed but never quite experienced. This world of parties and clubs where people are happily young, careless and naive. I don't hate it, I must say. It is exciting!
As I wrote a few posts ago, I met someone. It sounds weird saying it but yeah I did. It's a guy from Drama Society which I attend every tuesday at university. He is quite nice and we get along well. We went on a date and I really had a good time but then he texted me something that made me think something didn't go that well for him...
Anyway, I think I may say that I like him and he said he likes me as well so it is a good sign.
Nevertheless, we have some problems communicating that are mostly likely my fault. My english is still developing itself and I don't always make myself as clear as I should. Well, that's lie. I mean it is true but not the reason why we've been having problems. Every single day I realise how much I still have to learn compared to these native folks. But I am not quite worried as I have time to polish it as much as I would like.
Anyway english, just as much as my portuguese, is at its best state when I feel relaxed and comfortable. When I rather feel anxious, nervous and intimidated, both my thoughts and words are halfway cut off (I think I started feeling this way when I realised I liked him and thereby wanted unconsciously to impress him). Anyway, we're in a really weird position. I don't know how to explain it not even for myself so, I'm just making sure I am not falling for him because I don't wanna leave this really weird and unresolved situation for no reason hurt.
I've been reading quite a lot as welI but as much as I would love to say these books are related to psychology, they are not. I will make a personal goal of reading psychology/criminology related books next year. You should start revising your goals for this year and check what is still missing :)
So this is it, bloggers. Life is good..

Love always,
Tommy

ps. Check the photos below for a house party/halloween party that I had in my house a few weeks ago and meet some of my new friends

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An uncomfortable feeling.

Hey bloggers! Hope you're all alive and breathing.
I wrote this post sometime last week and never got to post it. I don't feel that way anymore. I will try to make a new post, showing the progression of my feelings. On how today even though I still don't feel secure or good enough, I still want to give it a go.
More in detail, later. Stay tuned.
I truly adore you all and I don't even know you.
I guess it is just because you take your time to listen to me bragging or complaining about random daily events.

Love always,
Tommy

For me being/feeling nostalgic is a result of instances in which I had felt insecure, fragile or lonely. Of instances in which I'd hope I'd have a friend around. Well, I am feeling nostalgic today. The instances behind it don't really matter because all I know is that putting myself out there is harder than I expected.
You convince yourself to face challenges more challenging every single time and every single time you regret having made that decision at least twice. Well, I regret having put myself in a scenario in which I knew it was double threatening for me.
On the one side, I can see the positive out of all this: it made me feel uncomfortable. And now you wonder how can feeling uncomfortable be a positive sign. Well, it works as simple as this. If you feel too comfortable somewhere. You'll stop putting effort into it. You'll stop finding it attractive. You'll start considering whether it is worthy to keep on doing it. However, when you see yourself troubling to get something done, you need to improve yourself. Do better, try harder, dig deeper.
On the other side, the benefits from it may only come on a later stage. So till you get there, you'll find yourself having a hard time. Feeling extremely uncomfortable and progressively sadder. So, when the benefits really do arrive, even though you appreciate them, they won't make the whole "suffering" go away. Thereby the question you need to make to yourself is, is it really worth it the trouble?
This time, I don't it is, plus, it requires too much from me. You all know how much I've worked to get where I stand today. Looking back, it seems easy but I didn't feel that way going through it.

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Hey Underdog world, I'm still Happy!

Hello underdog world! It's me Tommy as usual. Just wanted to make a quick update on my life. It would be expected, due to my usual mood swings, that I'd been on a "bad" place right now but I am not. I have only reasons to be grateful so I am focusing on all that.
So, yes, I'm still in a good emotional place, although some unfortunate and undesirable events took place in my life. They did not affect AT ALL my mental state. I've never felt this balanced and fulfilled in my entire life. :D
No, honey, it's not an alien writing this post. It's me the same old Tommy. I can prove that with a random but very classical act that only someone as me would commit. I've just broken my right-handed wrist from playing the guitar. Most people would do some hands warm-up exercises before playing, but because I'm super professional and good at it, I didn't and well... that was kind of the result...
I will be fine though. All for the sake of being able to play a known song on the guitar by the end of this year.
Oh, since I'm on the subject. I've been having some very interesting ideas for Christmas' presents this year. Can I just say I LOVE Christmas. I know I've said that a trillion times but I mean it and now more than ever. I love my family and equally 2012 and 2013 has taught us so much and obligated us to grow up so much not only as individuals but also as a family. We're closer than ever and now we can appreciate the blessing of having each others in our lives. So, again Xmas presents. Well, as always I have a list of family members and friends who I would like to "present" with a little heart felt something and this year is no exception. My list has grown a bit, I decided to encompass my lovely housemates too. They really take care of me so I would like to return a bit of the same love.
As you can see, I'm in an urgent need of getting a job.  Otherwise no meaningful Xmas gifts this year haha.
Well, of course my life hasn't been only about "wondering" who to offer and what to offer. I've been studying too, not as much as I should've been, but a bit. I've been attending this drama society group at my university. I've had the opportunity to meet some new people. I'm still working on personalizing my room the best I can. Of course, I'll never stop checking on my grandmother and my uncle dede back at Leeds, at least once a week.  And well the list goes on...
I think that's all for today, fellas.
I'll try to make more updating posts. I really like making them.
Please be safe and make sure to have a good time this week :D

Love always,
Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Lazy Gal!

Hey young fellas! I'm baaaack :D

Today's going to be quite a quick post. Just to say that I'm trying to enjoy my uni life more and to share my newest obsession with you all. 

Let's start off by stating the obvious: I am a lazy gal. I know that. You know that. Every single being on this planet probably knows that. And lazy people as myself really look for the easiest ways to make things done. And well and a few weeks ago I hit on an app that hopefully will make your life a bunch more easier too. 

I love to read and I read a lot. But sometimes I find my eyes way too tired for the job or I don't quite feel like going through the pages, so someone invented "Audible" which is an app sponsored by amazon. It's an app for both androids and apple fellas so no "geek fighting" over this, where you can find loads of audible versions of known books. So, there you have it. No more need to outwear your vision any longer. For a bit more than 5 quids (pounds) or sometimes even less, you can get the book that you want at a price you can afford in circumstances that you will sure love. 

Go get your free audible book here after a quick sign up! 

Audbile

Love always, 

Tommy

PS. No one paid me to advertise this app. I really adore it and it was job to share it with the world. I may be doing more app posts. I'm always looking for new ones and once in a while, I find treasures as audible. Make sure you stay tuned on my second blog to hear all about it.

http://stuffworthlookingat.blogspot.co.uk

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado 

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Happiness #NoFilter!

Hey bloggers. I am so sorry for not having posted in such a long time.
I could say that I was busy. I was indeed but I could have found some time to write here or recycle and publish one of the many old drafts I haven't yet published. But I didn't and I am sorry.
My life...well my life is pretty cool right now. I am probably the happiest I have ever been in my entire life.
Never felt so full. So excited. So brave. So strong.
Reasons for such:
Firstly my housemates. They are just wonderful people. I guess we all are and there is such a good environment in the house. We all support each other and tease each other and push each other to find better, to go deeper. I love being here. And I also love my room. My space. My guitar. Everything inside tells the story of who I am and I love it for that.
Second, I am very happy because even though I have lacked to publish in the past month, Mk has attained over 30.000 views worldwide and it's crazy. Can't believe people actually care about this little space of web. It's me. All of me. The sad me. The happy me. And I hope you all are enjoying knowing me better as much as I am enjoying telling the story.
At last, I met someone. It is a bit soon to predict things and I am not expecting much a fun time, but it is exciting and new. It's so new for me. This dating world with people of my age. I've only dated older guys and right one I have this guy with the same as I have who is interested in me. It is exciting and it makes me feel good about myself. We've been chatting a lot. Almost all day long texting back and forward each other and it has given me the opportunity and time to know him better. His tastes, his desires, everything he wanted me to know and also show him a bit of the weirdo me and so far he seemed to have enjoyed it. Anywho he asked on a date and we're going out this weekend and I am very looking forward for it. Now that I had some time to text him and talk to him and know a little of him, I feel like it is worth giving a shot and seeing what happens.

So this is it, bloggers. My happiness. England is finally working out for me and I never saw the change coming. Year of Tommy back on track :D

Love always,
Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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love...love...love...

Love is a very present theme here on Mk and believe me folks, I'm not one of those annoyingly romantic and sentimental teenager girls. If you have ever stopped by, you sure know of my several relapses on the subject. One of the many hypothesis that I mentally formulated regarding it was that I unconsciously assume that everything in my life is, at some level, connected to love and at the end of the day, regardless what happened, it all resumes to loving and being loved. So when I come to write down my troubles here on Mk, love is all I can translate them into.
One thing I must settle before going further on the subject is that I'm not necessarily loving in a romantic way someone right now. Cutting the chase, people, love isn't a priority for me. It was back in the day but after so much wear and tear, so much trying and getting disappointed afterwards, I decided to give a break. So, I'm undoubtedly  focused on planning my future ahead and enjoying this time of my life (they said these are the best years of your life, though I haven't done anything merely exciting... I'll remain praying they're right!). Thereby I am taking a sabbatical from everything that poisons my spiritual health ever since I flew back home. Trying not to take anything seriously and having some carefree fun. I'd be lying if I said I haven't had any relapses, I've had a few, all because I went back to wanting more than I could get and desiring what isn't mine. But happily, currently I am back on track, cool and joyfully focused!
I've been planning my future ahead. I have a lot going on and many more coming. I have my personal goals to attain at university, in my personal life and spiritually.
My personal life will see many changes coming soon starting from the place I'll be living at, which won't be the same and the people I'll be living with, who will be friends from my degree.
I also intend to get more involved at uni this year. Enroll at some societies and play some sports. Any of this can't be done without some financial security, so of course I'll be applying to some part-times, any kind of job really I can some days throughout the week or weekend, which will provide a substantial income by the end of the month besides my parents' monthly allowance, which I'm hoping not to need as much from now on.
Everything may sound somewhat idealistic and a lot to do but I really want to do it all. I'll start small and as adapt to the changes, I'll try new things. Keeping my time full and my life busy is important because it keeps me distracted.
So, this is it, bloggers. A brand new Tommy and a brand new season of my life coming out! Stay tuned if you don't wanna lose all the spicy details everybody loves (I'm kidding but we never truly know, do we? my life can get more exciting).



love always,
Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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A vida paralela dos sonhos

Já se perguntaram se a vida que vivem é um sonho e o sonho em que adormecem é a vida que dura?
Duas realidades paralelamente distintas e simultaneamente intersectadas.  Cada só no seu destino mas nunca se despegando dos percalços da outra.
Eu sempre sonhei mais do que vivi. Tristemente aos sonhos sempre achei mais graça.
De dia, de noite, de pé, deitada. Sempre conheci mais do mundo dos sonhos do que a realidade dos vivos.

Ouve-se falar em sonhos ligados a coisas e à concretização de desejos tanto conscientes quanto inconscientes. Eu, em contrapartida, sempre sonhei com momentos, que embora de términos felizes ou infelizes, sempre caracterizaram atos de bravura incontestável, deleito vagaroso e contentamento incomparável.

Sonhei que vivi a vida que não vivi. De dia feliz. De noite apavorada.
"É tudo uma questão de controlo", dizem eles. Eu digo-te que eles poucos sabem.

No momento em que o sonho vira a realidade, o controlo converte-se no acaso.
A sorte é jogada na mesa e se de cara bendita fores, coroa não chorarás.
E se em vez de estar a sonhar este tempo todo, vivi a vida que sempre sonhei?

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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an unfortunate story.

I never meant to be this way. I believe you never meant to be the way you are too. Is it your fault? Is it my fault? I don't know. It wasn't by accident, for sure.
We're the result of what the world has given and taken away from us and following that same thought, I was pretty lucky. I received more than lost. You, on the other hand, you've suffered more... way too much for the kid you were, in fact. It wasn't by chance you became the way you are. They made you that way.

You know... it's funny when you look back. I was so complete. So united in my own self and then you came along as haughty as ever. You've looked me with the blind eyes you don't possess and the soft hands you wish you'd have. In that very moment I realised I was about lose everything I had, everything I was and everything I wanted. Feeling unbalanced on my own feet and closing myself to my own darkness.
Don't you ever dare saying I simply walked away. I had to. You spoiled my happiness. You spoiled my sense of purpose. What more could I have done but walk?
You don't like me this way: needy, whiner, jealous. I don't like to have you that way: far, uncommitted, unattached.
So now here I stand and there you stand.
Filling another page of the unfortunate story of humanity.

I wanna tell you
How much
I love you



"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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When the truth is....I miss you.

Eu sou um ser extremamente carente e a culpa é tua.
Foste tu que me tornaste assim... tão carente.
Mimaste-me. Oh, como mimaste-me tu.
Como pude não viciar-me em ti? Responde-me. Como pude não viciar-me em ti?
Como pude não habituar-me à tua essência e deliciar-me da energia vital que trazias?

Tu, um ser completo. De tudo um pouco. De tudo um nada.
Eu, um ser tranvestido. Incompleto por natureza. Reduzido pelo vida.
Que viste tu em mim?
Perguntei-te tantas vezes. Que viste tu em mim?
Respondeste-me outrora que fora o brilho incessante que a lua tinha vista dos meus olhos. Tão brilhante quanto sol. Tão grandiosa quanto o mar.
Mentiste-me.
Eu já não vejo a lua há muitos sóis.

Quem tem te deu o direito de arrebatares a  minha alma e de te contentares do meu fraco ser?
Esperavas que te deixasse escapar impune, de rompante, sem um pesar de olhos?
Conheces-me mal.

Como eras tu belo. Uma alegria para os olhos de uma pobre plebeia.
O meu ponto de encontro. O meu oposto feliz.
Era suposto ser um final feliz. Eu e tu. Tu e eu.
Mas tu morreste-me e eu desvaneço cada dia mais.




"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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To my friends.

I wanted to devote a post to my friends. Not any or a friend in particular but all and each of them because all of them, on their own way, have added sugar, love and energy to my days and without their worth-listening teachings/advices, I don't know how I would have coped with some difficult situations of my life. So, dear friends, this is for you. I love you all, very much.
It wouldn't be fair if I didn't kick off this post by highlighting my oldest, weirdest friend of all times and ever since I've known myself as a person - my older sister: Kika. It's obvious that we share a deeper connection because we've always been together and been through the same stuff. And it is also obvious that the bonds of sisterhood are fed by tons of love we feel for each other. But it doesn't end here because we, above all are friends. I've never been able to hide anything from her and that sucks. Truly sucks because sometimes, as any other person, I just want to keep stuff to myself and I can't. She has this 'I-know-what-you-are-thinking' look that always disarms me. She is really sincere and has really strong opinions on everything and everyone. Thereby I'm always really afraid of telling her sttuff because I know how crucial her opinion is to me. She's not one to judge people but if she doesn't like you, for a strong reason, you will be able to tell because she will tell you, on your face, anywhere, anytime. She's really that kind of person and everyone, including me, loves her for that. I know she will never lie to me, not even to make me happy. And I undoubedtely treasure that honesty. So, that is what she has taught me my entire life, bloggers - to not be afraid of being myself and to always choose truth over anything and regardless of any consequences that may come with it.
Moving on to my best friend. People ask me several times questions such as:
1. How can you be best friends with a guy?
2. Don't you feel uncomfortable telling him some personal things?
3. Have your friendship with him never developed or went in a more romantic path? It happens to everyone.
Well, to all of these questions and depending on who's asking, I usually reply with "he's a great guy and we get along very well, so it is quite easy to be best friends with him" to the people I know and like and to everyone else, I just send my "it's-none-of-your-business" look.
If you're a follower, you may have noticed already but my latest post, back on Aug 28th was about him. So if you're interested, you might want to have a quick look at it: http://mk-galhardo.blogspot.pt/2013/08/to-my-person.html to see how important he is to me and how deep our connection is today.
He also taught me a lot as my sister. Not only knowledgeable stuff (he's really bright) mostly confidence. He isn't confident all the time and I know that because I know him. But whenever he's put in a evaluation, whatever it is, you will see his confidence sparkling. You will see him aware of his value as a person and  projecting his magnificient potential on whatever he's doing. And I truly envy him for that. He's a role model for me and I really love him and I don't think I can quite say it enough times.
Oh, there's one thing that annoys me truly about him and it isn't really his fault. It's the fact that he's handsome and has always desperate ladies sniffing around him. I mean, I don't mind. I want him to be happy, above all but I honestly think he should pick one and stick with her ;)
I'm finishing up this post by talking about my longest friendship after the one I have with my sister. My one, only and loveliest friend Nini. Oh gosh, I've met Nini when I was only 10 years old and we have been friends ever since. It has been almost 10 years of crazy friendship, can you believe that? We were kids back then!
I still miss that time. Anywho, today, we're the kind of friends who don't need to talk to or see each everyday. I like it because it has come to really solid stage where we just cherish and support each other no  matter what, where or when. And whenever we have the opportunity to be together, it seems like we have never stopped talking or seeing each other. Like the old times. Sisters from different mothers, as we used to say.

I have more friends, happily. But I wanted to underline this top three because they're my family and a blessing I have God to thank to.

Love always,
Tommy

PS. I have a lot of stuff coming up so make sure you stay tuned!

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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28th. To my person.

Hello world! From the outset, I'd like to provide a plausible reason for my absense: I've been feeling incredibly lazy and my laptop isn't working very well, you know...
Yes, yes, I know, those don't sound very good reasons but they're all I got, so take them! :P
Anywho, dear bloggers, I want to devote this post to my very best friend on this very special day for him and myself.
Our relationship is indescribable. It's hard to understand both for me and him and as lately looks like, for everybody else outside of our magic duo while looking at us too. But that doesn't matter because All I care is what I feel for him and what I think he feels as well for me. And so far it feels good. Really good to be friends with this particular guy.
He's NO random guy. He's so bright but so incredibly bright that I ask myself several times, how come did he become friends in the first place. He's also very handsome and he's aware of that, fact which can be a little annoying to deal with. He's funny and hard-working and very focused once he establishes a goal. He's a good person, a really good person and has been a great companion for all these years.
No, Nooo bloggers. He isn't perfect. Sometimes, he's unpleasently stubborn and arrogant. He has this haughty personality which can be both very attractive and irritanting. However his very worst feature is his uncapability of making his mind on something he desires; which is a shame since he's the type of person who once makes his mind on pursuing something he loves, nothing in this world can't stop him until he reaches his goal.
Together We're different, we're weird, we're unstable, we're annoyingly happy and cheerful, we're awesome. Truly awesome.
I love him, all the good and all the annoying and all the hesitation. He's one of a kind...
As you can see, I could stand here all day writing about this guy who's much more than just a normal guy but I don't think you could ever picture his awesomeness, what he represents to me and what we are together.
I think I will finish this post by saying what I've always said to him, like a bazillian times, that he's my one in seven billions and my life would never be as cheerful and jealous and interesting, in general, without him.
So, today, on the day you, my love, complete 20 years of age on this planet, I wanted to thank you for making me happy, always. May you remain the hot guy you are; May you pursue all your dreams and never give up on them because you're afraid getting left behind or not making it till the end; and May music always be part of us. You do have the talent or what they call, the X factor, by the way ;)

I love you,
and I truly hope that you've liked the gift I made for you. I made it with love.

always yours,
Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Festival :)

Hello netheads!
I have just arrived from a concert at a local festival in my hometown. The artist who performed is the widely known R&B singer Craig David, everyone knows or must, at least, have heard of. The genre he plays and sings isn't exactly my vibe or where my musical tastes usually pass by nowadays, nevertheless I had to make an exception for Mister David since his music represents a specially happy time of my life. So summing up I had to grab this amazing opportunity - couldn't simply let it pass by me and regret later - of watching him perform live for free. Yes, this local festival called Festas do Mar sponsored by RFM and Cascais city council is totally free of charge. It includes generally local talents but it always has at least a widely known guest star.
This is yet the second time I'm attending it. I went there a couple years ago with a good friend of mine and now returned with my folks and another friend. Assuming next year, by this time, I'm in Portugal, you will definitely see me there. It is worth every mile to get there. It also depends of the billboards. This year's was nice but last year was better even better. Anywho here are a few photos I took tonight. Enjoy.

Love always, unless your friends are as busy as nine. In that case, throw the old fellas and get new ones.,
Tommy

PS. I made a few videos. I'm thinking of uploading them for you guys to see... maybe later.

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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Not all those who wander are lost.

You're slave of your desires. You're a slave of your thoughts and impulsive actions. You're a slave of the goodness inside of you. You're a salve of the hatred built up over the overs. You're a slave of your subjective impressions and distorted view of the world.
As you can observe there's so much, within and outside yourself, that can prisionate to be who you are. Don't let it stop you.
Run. Play. Jog. Meet. Dance.
The world is a book and you're just starting to read the first page. Don't stop there.
Fill the pages with glee and love.
Get rid of insecurities. Be the awesome self that you already are.

Hey People! Hope you're all alright. I just wanted to say that I'm really happy to be home and to be able to spend quality time with my folks. These pics were taken in Obidos, a town in the West of Portugal. As you can see, it is beautiful and so calm and warm. If I could, I would definitely live there. I was raised in a big metropole and years later, I still feel like I don't fit in here so to live in a smaller town might be it for me in the future.
Anywho hope you're all enjoying your summer vacations a lot as myself and I'll update you all very soon. Stay tuned!

Love always,
Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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