The first.

Love is something we expect: the first kiss, the first love, the first time, first I love you. We think of it as something that will changes us forever. Something that we will cherish every moment and never, by any circumstance, let go. We are wrong, at some point we will have to let it go and what does really changes us is the loss of love. It changes us in unpredictable ways and it is as well what makes of us who we are today. It is the loss of our innocence that will lead us to take the first step in adulthood, to find our inner voice and to raise new paths, opportunities and dreams to follow.

I am no longer that silly shy new girl in the class that is just looking forward to fit in. I say screw people’s opinions, screw fitting in, screw being different, screw loving someone who does not love you back, screw it all. I am not looking for someone or to be somewhere, I am looking for myself – and that, for the first time in a long time, may be a fun thing to do.

I am nice girl with some sense of humor who happens to like people right away (I am trying to change this last one, but I cannot simply accept that all people are just bad or have ulterior motives while meeting me) and there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. And I wanted to post this so whenever I feel like the world has nothing wrong and I am the one screwing it, I can look to what I've written and see how certain of myself I felt that day and the world is the one messed up. There is a lot of doubt that me be raised against me, why I am so weird, why push most people away from my life, why I feel so insecure in so basic situations, I do not know, I do not care, BUT there is absolutely nothing wrong with me and I know it. 

Love always, 
Tommy