It's eight in the morning, I'm late. I get ready to go out, wearing the clothes I wore some time ago, doing the things I always do. No ones is home.
As I leave my house, I see the people I always see. Not really seeing them or feeling them. I just go through them. I see a child, she looks so sad. I think she lost her mommy. I go in her direction, I want to help her. She starts running away. Why is she running? I follow her. She is stopping now. She sees someone. Is she finally seeing me? I wave at her, ask her to stop and if I can help her. She doesn't answer me back. She sees someone else. It's a man. He's coming to her. He was following her all way through. He's offering her stuff. I can see she doesn't want them. I shout at her "do not get in his car!". She doesn't listen me. She doesn't see me. No one sees me. I'm invisible.
I woke up again. It's night time. I can hear the sounds of someone crying. I'm eight years old. I think. I think is my mom crying. I can recognize her voice. Why is my mom crying? I don't understand. I go to her bedroom, I see her. She is in really bad shape. She looks sick and tired. She seems older like granny. I lay in her bed, right close to her. I whisper to her ear: "Mommy, mommy, are you crying?" She doesn't answer me back. I ask again. "Mommy, Mommy, why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?" She doesn't answer me again. I try to hug her. I can't do it. Why can't I hug mommy? She doesn't see me. Why does not mommy see me? I start screaming "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, I'm here!" " Mommy mommy, I'm scared. Mommy, mommy, help me." She remains still, crying, tired, looking at my picture. I can see the tears falling out of bed from overly wet sheets.
I woke up again. It's dark. It's really dark. I don't understand why is so dark. It should be morning by now. I don't see anyone. I know this place. I think I've been here before. When was it? I don't remember. I see someone. She looks a lot like me. I see someone else. She looks a lot like me too but younger. I see something. I can't see what that is. It's a weird shape. I cannot recognize it. It's following my moves like a mirror. It looks like my reflection staring back to me. But I am not the person who is reflection. I'm afraid. I don't see anybody. I feel shivers going down my spine. My heart is racing. I can't move my legs. I'm stuck. I can no longer see myself. The reflection is fading away.
I wake up. Where am I? It's my bedroom but it looks so different. I can hear mommy again. She is talking to someone. I see a young guy in his twenties. He kissed mommy in her mouth. I see my two brothers. I wave at them. They don't see but they look happy. I see my high school boyfriend. He looks older. He's with someone else. He looks happy. I start crying. I start crying really hard. I still love him, I can feel it. I love him so much. I see my grandparents pictures on the wall. Why are they not here? I feel tired. I close my eyes. I open my eyes. I can no longer see anything. Where am I?
"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado
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