Friday, March 8, 2013

With every small disaster, I'll let the waters still...take me away to some place real


First of all, International Women's Day! We are women, we've conquered the world. We demanded our rights and we are ruling it, so congratulations to you all. Happy women's day :) May we never forget what our mothers have been through so that we are able to enjoy the freedom we have today. Freedom of thoughts and acts is quite subjective. Not every woman has been using in the right way (another subjective term), not every woman has it, nonetheless most of us have and therefore must cherish it and accept the consequences of the decisions we've taken because of it. May we have the fathers and chosen the husbands who will love us no matter what, above all. May we be treated as we deserve and not cover ourselves behind princesses masks.
Having said that, let's move forward to another, same subject of these last five/six days. I do not want to share my worries anymore. There are things, I should, I must keep to myself. I am still having a hard time accepting all that has been happening. My mind is still going crazy trying to find an explanation to what happened and hoping I will wake up soon and everything will be gone as a stupid non-sense nightmare. I am not trying to find excuses to what he's done, I'm looking reasons. For a glimmer the person I thought I knew. Please don't patronise me. I'm no fool. I know. I just know it all. As someone who loves him tremendously, as someone who would give anything not to seeing him suffering or prisoner of an addiction, I am just trying to understand this and understand where this leave us all, where do I fit here? Where my family, our concept of family fits here? It's so much easier when it's only a program you're watching on tv about a family that has been through this and as much as you feel touched by it, it will all be gone as soon as you turn off the tv. Not this time. Where my heart, my worries, my care, my desire to help, to protect, cherish and look after, stay in all this? I hope in someplace safe where I strong enough to help.

With every small disaster
I'll let the waters still
Take me away to some place real
'Cause they say home is where your heart is set in stone
It's where you go when you're alone
It's where you go to rest your bones
It's not just where you lay your head
It's not just where you make your bed
As long as we're together, does it matter where we go?

Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado

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