It's the second time since I arrived to Portugal that I've woken up this early. It's great, really, because in the UK, due to my obligation and uni's stuff, I'm always very early and I barely sleep the night before, for nights and nights in a row.
Now I understand how tired I was, because I'm all rested, lied on my bed, warm and cozy and feeling just because it.
The only thing that is stressing my mind, not all the time, just when I think of it, because it's becoming so damn closer, is the thought that I'm a bit more than a week a way to leave paradise and family and friends, and going back to cold mary England. One's got to do what one's got to do, I get it, I just don't like it. I really like it here. I finally like it here. This feels, this is home and nice and fresh and light and happy, and I like those stuff because they kind of represent the type of person I am.
I don't like as well, the idea of coexising with my grandmother again. I've writen before that we're not eaxctly best pals, not even close. She's not an ordinary grandma, she's meaner and do a lot of stuff I don't approve and which not to see in my life. But the fact she doesn't speak any english and requires, more than anything my life, has made me come into this 'death journey' with her. But fact is, she's driving me crazy. She stress me out so much, I wish I could only explain it by words so you guys won't think I'm overracting, because I'm not. I have plenty of reason to not even look at her face, like ever, but I do, because I know she needs and I could never abandon my uncle Dedé, that needs me even more and is disabled. I just hate myself for not being able to say NO. and being always so nice, because it has taken me to this trap, no escaping route.
But well, I can dealy no longer my destiny, so it's pointless and silly overthinking it. It now it locates in England and though it's cold, is so much brighter, in terms of a career, than in Portugal, so I'll do what it needs to be done. I owe this to my mother. She's such an amazing mother and sacrified and still does it, for her kids. And she raised us all by herself with such a small income and I've never missed anything, love, food or care at home. She did an amazing job and owe her to go to England and fight for more, you know. Many people have so many things, never worry about money as we do so much in my family, but lack this amazing bond we have. And it doesn't matter how far life might take each of us, our hearts always be this close and even more closer.
Now, coming back, I've got so much to do, such as looking and finding quickly a job. I've been looking all these month but I've narrowed my search for evening or weekends jobs only, but now I don't really care if I have to be an earlier bird than I've been today (I'm awake since 6 in the morning), because this is my time to do the sacrifices and this is nothing compared to what my mother did and this is the price each of us has to pay to grow up a fine man or woman.
I also have to find a cheap room near university to move in there, because I spend so much money in he place I'm living right now,it's crazy and because it's so damn far from uni, I also have to pay for my monthly both bus and train student pass for West Yorkshire, which is about 80 pounds.
And I have to do both, once I arrive to the UK, because my situation the way it is, can't stay and I can't simply overload my parents with more stuff, since they've got not only me but my sister as well, since October, studying and living abroad and we're not exactly rich for it. I mean we're not poor, that are people who've got it way worse and thank God, we are still managing to do everything, but the truth is that this economic crisis all Euroupe and especially Portugal is going through, is really making it very hard to keep up for everybody. By the way, I want to take this opportunity to say a word to all portuguese that saw their lives upside down because of this, to not give in, you're stronger than you believe. The trick is to be creative, creat new ways of earning money and I know for many of you, you've done that job for many years, but you have to update yourself, adapt to the new circustamces, you're a brave soul and you'll do just fine if you belive me and go out and make your own opportunities, just as I'm doing. I won't say it will be easy but it'll worth every penny and specially every tear dropped and exude.
I believe we're all here for a reason and each of us, we've got what it takes to make it to the next level, to overcome and oncoming challenges and make it in today's world.
It's been a while I don't write this much and I think I've talked about a lot of stuff, I'll end this here.
Thanks for spending your time 'reading me' and please go out and make your day worth because you never know if it is the last one. I don't actually think people should live like this is the last day of their lives, I don't I would like the pressure of it and I'm pretty I would spend it worried and tired and sad, so, my advice is live like this is your last opportunity to make it right.
Love you all
Once again, best wishes for 2013, may this be an unforgettable, in the best way possible, year!
We've reached 18 000 views which is not much in a youtube video, but a dream for someone like who doesn't wish notoriety but some sort of support.
See you all later, my adorable fellas, YOU ROCK!
PS. BY THE WAY, did you know night owls are smarter than morning people? Interesting, isn't it? if you're willing to know more differents between these categories, check the link below
http://pandawhale.com/post/1549/night-owls-vs-morning-people-who-comes-out-ahead
"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado
