I just wanted this to get easier but it doesn't...

Okay my last post is HUUUUGEEEE! I haven't even noticed that was THIS big until now. But who cares? You probably do, it sucks reading such a big post, however I am not changing it. Not today at least. I'm feeling tired, spent all day doing research and writing reports. I'm feeling quite tired really and I just want to sleep. But there is something troubling my mind. The idea of going again, oh god, it kills me. I do not understand why doesn't this get any easier as time goes by. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GET GODDAMNED EASIER!!! but it doesn't. And always think to myself, if I could only see that friend one more time and spend one more day with my family. And gosh, now, I'm crying. Oh dear... This is not going welll...Packing up is so hard. Not really packing up but the meaning of it, which is leaving. Of course I'm coming back, of course it will be in the summer and of course I don't know when...If I could just hug my friends one more time and stay with my family for a few more days...If I could only... It's like my heart is in pieces right now...I just wanted this to get easier but it doesn't...Honestly, I'm heart broken! I know I shouldn't be. This isn't my first, second, third ... time. I am supposed to get better doing these things but I don't, I'm all wrong as usual and this getting tougher and tougher on me. Counting the days, realising time's up.... I just want to stay close to my mommy and see her everyday, fight with my cousin about always having to maintain my room clean, playing on Xbox with my brother and claiming his cheating because I am losing the game and going out with my best friend and telling the world to SUCK IT while we are wandering through Lisbon city centre singing and dancing. If I could only...

Love always, 

Tommy

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado