Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. ~ Andre Gide

Hello everyone! Yesterday was a great day. I'm not getting into details or posting any pictures really but I guarantee you all that it was a day to remember. I went to the theatre, walked a lot, laughed a lot, enjoyed THE BEST company and since we were both being really honest about things, I'd say it was a pleasant surprise and improvement for our relationship :D I remain unsure about some things but one can't have it all in a single day.

Sleeping at night was the hardest part because I had so much information FLOATING all over my head to process that I couldn't make myself fall asleep...I was thinking about the following things:

• I was thinking about my brother and not wanting him to suffer a single thing during his life because I still see him as my little Ken but he's not giving us (my family) any choice back so I will not oppose anymore to the consequences of his acts. I still have a lot faith in him. I know he's a good boy and if there's a change of heart, he will get over this phase of his life but now I also know that good boys do bad things and hopefully this will make him STRONGER! “Even if you stumble, you’re still moving forward.”

• Then, I was thinking about my religion. We sure have a lot of so named "rules to follow". However, in general, I think people try very hard to follow them more than in any other religion. When I first became Mormon, it wasn't very hard to adapt myself because I never drank alcohol or enjoyed drinking coffee or black tea, or any tea as matter of fact. In general these rules are not because people want to mess with your life. They were made for your own damn good, for your health. Whether you want to follow them or not, it's up to you and no one will judge you if you do otherwise. Well, I cannot say no one but I and some people I know wouldn't judge you. I don't want to compare Mormons to any other religion because we all claimed having and "gospeling" THE TRUTH in our chapels so it's hard for anyone really know which church to enter or whether it is worth entering or not. At this point of my life, I am not the best Mormon. Not because I don't follow the "rules" (which tend to be more advices than rules anyway). However, I must admit I haven't been reading the scriptures daily and sometimes when I'm in England I skip church on Sundays because I have work to do. Not because I don't believe in the the gospel any longer. I haven't being the best Mormon because being Mormon was the ONLY place that I used to feel like fitting in...however, during the past year with all these changes happening in my life, I don't feel like so anymore. Being Mormon made my father convert in a better no-alcohol version of himself. He's much better now and I am very proud of him and thankful for this change of heart. I know it's been a while that I don't talk about my father. You may see the difference if you have been following MK since the very beginning. My father has always been a really good man, anyone who knows him can see it but he never did anything for his own benefit and this aspect still remains. He probably think he's not worth it which is not true. He's a DAMN GOOD MAN with several flaws but overall a good good man so he deserves GOOD things. However he doesn't believe in so and believes that by lying to me it will make me feel better. It doesn't daddy, it doesn't.  I hate when people lie to me, you know. I am terrible liar. I've lied a few times during my life, non-sense stupid lies and it never ever worked out in the good way for me so I do not understand why people lie to themselves or to anyone really. It never works out well. DO NOT LIE. People know you're lying. Anyway, my father lies to me about a lot of stuff that he knows that I know the truth nevertheless he still does it. Daddy we cannot and should NEVER erase the past, but it's gone, we are all over it now, please move on with your life. Because when you lie to me, it hurts me so much knowing that after that we've been through together, you cannot still be honest with me and tell me the GODDAMNED truth that I already know...Being Mormon has helped my family become closer but as the years passed by it looks like to me that we only hid the truth to ourselves and now it's coming out to everyone else all over again . I feel for my family a lot and I just keep hoping and praying that we will be able to overcome this one more challenge as well...Being Mormon is getting tougher and tougher on me because it used to mean FAMILY and JOY and now that everything is falling apart, it means CHAOS and MISFORTUNE. I'm no longer that funny girl who wears cute dresses that people enjoy talking with on Sundays' mornings. I'm just a misfit, a misfit all over again. All great changes are preceded by chaos. ~ Deepak Chopra; Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. ~ Marilyn Monroe

• I was thinking about you Dave, my probably only reader. I don't know what you're going to do with your life at this point. I mean, this is really hard for you and I feel a lot for you being at such a position. On the one hand, You cannot leave your course in management now, having already done two REALLY GOOD years of it, however it sucks losing another year doing something that YOU DON'T LIKE. On the other hand, You may not feel OKAY with yourself in some years from now, if you don't COMPLETE your management course NOW. You will feel even more frustrated for starting something that you have never enjoyed and NOT EVEN FINISHING IT.... don't know what are you going to do but my advice to you is to be ready for anything. 1st thing, please APPLY, STUDY, GET READY and DO your BEST in your exams!! Get ready for them now! You may not decide to try to do something that you have loved your entire life which is going to Medical School and becoming the best Doctor everyone will ever see, but just by doing REALLY GOOD in your exams you will feel better with yourself - I guarantee you. And it will show to yourself HOW MUCH you really want this. 2nd thing, PLEASE PLEASE talk to your BOTH parents. Let them know what you're thinking!! Having their support will boost your CONFIDENCE. There's nothing better than knowing that your family supports your craziness!!! 3rd and last thing, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. I know I am probably your BIGGEST FAN and also your closest friend ( RIGHT??!) so you may not believe in my words but I still have to say them. You're so FREAKING TALENTED!!! Honestly I'd give the world to have half of your talents. You're so UNIQUE in so many ways. You're very HANDSOME (you're very handsome boy, but my guess is that you already knew that haha!). You INSPIRE so much CONFIDENCE in the way you talk, the way you look at people so please STOP pretending and start instilling within you some of that confidence!! You're AWESOME and YOUNG. You're so GODDAMNED young, look at you, you're 19!! You're such a HARD-WORKER! Therefore, in my view of the facts, THERE IS NOT A SINGLE REASON why you shouldn't GIVE A TRY at something you love. Not trying is the hardest feeling to stick with, David José. You will regret a lot not trying for THE SECOND time. We both now that consequences will be plenty. Insecurities about it, will come and go, but I'm sure you will do, NOT JUST MINIMALLY fine, you'll do GREAT. Because there is nothing worth trying that isn't HARD! There is nothing worth trying that isn't painful and requires A LOT from you.
• To finish, I love you more than you think you know  (my guess is that you already know that) and I believe in you and will ALWAYS support you whatsoever happens.

Hope you people will enjoy these quotes on life change. By finding the courage and faith in following your dreams, you will find a new YOU, you've never seen before. 

“By changing nothing, nothing changes.” -Tony Robbins
“Remembering you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” -Steve Jobs, Stanford commencement address 2005 
“Use what talents you possess, the woods will be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.” -Henry van Dyke
“The best thing you can do is the right thing; the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing; the worst thing you can do is nothing.” -Theodore Roosevelt
“If what you’re doing is not your passion, you have nothing to lose.”
“All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.” –Walt Disney
“If you run you stand a chance of losing, but if you don’t run you’ve already lost.” –Barack Obama
“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” -George Bernard Shaw

Love always,

Tommy

PS. Please go talk to Sara. You guys used to be best friends for really good reasons so, just go talk to her and show her that your friendship isn't over and she can count on you the same way you wish to always count on her. AND PLEASE IGNORE what people say! Even if you think that they are clever than you! Who are they to interfere in your life at such an UNGODLY hour?

"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado