Okay, so less than 24-hours to come back, my head is going all crazy. I'm have this huge headache, probably 'cause I decided to jog for over an hour while it was raining outside. I had to go out, I had to find a way of letting go my energies and worries. My head is also hurting due my insanely preoccupation about my brother's situation. He's turning into an untamed animal, doing what he wants all the time, lying as much as he can, crying in front of you and claiming that he's telling the truth when you know he's lying. The list can go on and I can't simply go away and see this problem growing and getting wilder and stronger on my mom's shoulders. Honestly, I cannot say that by being here, things would be better for everyone, I tend to try to deal with everything and everyone at same time but this is bigger than me and I don't know what to do exactly. However, I do know that by being here I would feel definitely with myself. It kills me leaving home the way I am leaving.My heart is filled with grief. I feel like crying all the time. I cannot believe this is happening to us. Like after all we've been through it wasn't enough. When is our time to just BE HAPPY?
Now, in the Uk, I also have issues to figure out. The place I'm living, it's big issue. I have to find my place, but everything is so INCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE!! I was waiting until the end of the classes to start looking over for a place to live closer to university but now that I'm thinking about saving for my placement in the USA, I don't know whether accumulating expenses is a good idea. Probably not.
And to finish, I'm doing my last two assignments! One of them, it's cool, I can manage it. The other one, not really. It's a group-work thing and I don't even have a group two weeks before the deadline. We have to do an experiment, I think and I cannot do it on my own. Don't have the time, don't have the people, don't have the tools! And this is my last assignment for criminology before exams season starts and it is 50% of the module final mark. So, if I don't do this, I cannot finish this module. So, yeah, great. Everything is going great, life's awesome and I'm just a lil bit desperate........
Someone please make this all go away
My head hurts so damn much. I feel like I may explode at any minute
Love always,
Tommy
"Façam o Favor de Ser Felizes" - Raul Solnado
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